lylee

so today i have to do a day surgery and im scared to death. i mean im stoked cuz i get to feel better..but any kinda surgery sucks butt. hell im scared of the dentist!! yes, i go to a kids dentist..and how did i pick it? the ad said "for kids and cowards"..heh

im not gunna be put to sleep though, they just said im going to have some pills that put me out of it. heck im scared of that as well! t4's knock me out and make me barf, am i going to be able to handle it?

so the guy from california is out of my life for sure. thank god. i know that sounds mean but i can't deal with him. he broke up a long time ago..him and his stupid games. last night i told him that im seeing someone else, he said he was 'talking" to someone..but then he turned into a complete cunt. seriously..! do you think he actually does have someone else in his life? i doubt it..he was being super nice to me before i told him about my new guy, then he just snapped. so fuck him. the only sad thing is he knows how scared i am today about my surgey and not even one txt...well..fine. if i hear nothing by friday (at risk if sounding like a retard) im deleting him from facebook and BBM. I mean i really dont need him in my life..to be honest i dont NEED anyone in my life..good people are just hard to find..not like he's a good person but yeah...

so lets hope i dont die today. heh. i wish they would just knock me out. grr

i cant wait till this weekend. seriously people. it might be too soon to tell and im scared to death, but i pretty much found the perfect guy. he's super sweet and been so great to me in the last few weeks. knowing my luck, i'll get fucked over..but hey, "thus is life.." just gotta not keep my hopes up and keep my distance..right? ah fuck i dunno..i really like this one!! help me love gods! ha ha

i think after this is done im gunna start exercising again and maybe lose some weight *fingers crosses*
i did wii fit last night, went for a 30 min jog..it was fun and i lost 156 calories..even lost a lb over night ha ha, maybe its due to my lack of eating but meh, at least im losing it..right? i wanna get down to 130..so...5 lbs to go!!

work, well..its work. i really wanna go to school. i need to pay off my line of credit then i wanna use $1000 and take some night courses. im already registered at the college but due to my work 'changing their mind'...they're not gunna pay for my schooling anymore. o well. i can teach myself, but its always better on paper, ya know? i just need to actually sit down and play with photoshop..oooh speaking of, wanna see something rad i made? ha ha ha.. ya ya i know, its lame and took a few seconds..but i was bored..

ok fuck it..the stupid img keeps going too big..here's the link
lame...

HERE