A few hours from Halloween. This year would mark the five year
anniversary of me and my partner. But it's not. Because we fucked
it up. So now we get to sit 1500 miles away from each other and...
what exactly? Be sad? Angry? So wretchedly depressed that we can't
see straight? Hardly. So much good and so much bad. We seem to
maybe actually be friends now. We weren't for a goodly amount of
time. We had a great conversation today, and I think alot of
things are clearer for me now. Still. Seems a little strange to
be able to say 5 years. Half a decade. Longer than my
niece has been alive. Shit, where does that leave us? In Portland.
And Moorhead. And that. is. all.
I work at a comic shop. The place I have wanted to be for a while
now. It feels good. Surrounded by the things I want to make and
take inspiration from. Little squared slices of genius many of
them. Feels good to be back in independant buisiness. Fantastic
boss. Fantastic locale. I had the weird pleasure of selling a copy
of true porn to someone who had no idea I was in it. Felt odd.
Giddy. Too nerded out to say anything though. My boss saved me by
teling the customer that I had a story in which greatly excited
the man. He asked me to sign it. My very first autograph request.
I declined, explaining that I am not yet nearly enough of a name
to be signing a godamn thing. When I have more than one short
story out there....maybe. But doubtful. I have begun preliminary
work on a new story. Letting all of the ideas float around in the
murky part of my brain untill they hopefully congeal into something
interesting.It really is a good time for me. Been staying in alot.
Getting used to the weather changes. Been a little sick. Listening
to lots of jazz. I currently only have the big names, Miles, Parker,
Coltrane, Mingus, Sun etc. etc. If anyone has anything they think
I may like, please pass it along.
I am involved. I have a lady friend. Not a girl friend. We are not
exclusive. We care about each other. We have filthy pig sex. The
lack of definition is good. We care. I don't think either of us
doubts that. A little security is good. So is sex. My god, so is
good sweaty, bloody, smelly, tactile, raunch fests. She is a
wonderful lady. Earlier this evening I was propositioned for
anonymous sex on the intarwub. The girls net access kept dying
so we didn't close the deal. But maybe soon. Will this bother the
lady? I dunno. Would it bother you?
Hope you all have a good halloween. I am going to go buy some
candy and show the girl hellraiser. To paraphrase jello....
I am different all year long, I don't need one day to prove how
different I can be. That's for you ametuers. Enjoy
anniversary of me and my partner. But it's not. Because we fucked
it up. So now we get to sit 1500 miles away from each other and...
what exactly? Be sad? Angry? So wretchedly depressed that we can't
see straight? Hardly. So much good and so much bad. We seem to
maybe actually be friends now. We weren't for a goodly amount of
time. We had a great conversation today, and I think alot of
things are clearer for me now. Still. Seems a little strange to
be able to say 5 years. Half a decade. Longer than my
niece has been alive. Shit, where does that leave us? In Portland.
And Moorhead. And that. is. all.
I work at a comic shop. The place I have wanted to be for a while
now. It feels good. Surrounded by the things I want to make and
take inspiration from. Little squared slices of genius many of
them. Feels good to be back in independant buisiness. Fantastic
boss. Fantastic locale. I had the weird pleasure of selling a copy
of true porn to someone who had no idea I was in it. Felt odd.
Giddy. Too nerded out to say anything though. My boss saved me by
teling the customer that I had a story in which greatly excited
the man. He asked me to sign it. My very first autograph request.
I declined, explaining that I am not yet nearly enough of a name
to be signing a godamn thing. When I have more than one short
story out there....maybe. But doubtful. I have begun preliminary
work on a new story. Letting all of the ideas float around in the
murky part of my brain untill they hopefully congeal into something
interesting.It really is a good time for me. Been staying in alot.
Getting used to the weather changes. Been a little sick. Listening
to lots of jazz. I currently only have the big names, Miles, Parker,
Coltrane, Mingus, Sun etc. etc. If anyone has anything they think
I may like, please pass it along.
I am involved. I have a lady friend. Not a girl friend. We are not
exclusive. We care about each other. We have filthy pig sex. The
lack of definition is good. We care. I don't think either of us
doubts that. A little security is good. So is sex. My god, so is
good sweaty, bloody, smelly, tactile, raunch fests. She is a
wonderful lady. Earlier this evening I was propositioned for
anonymous sex on the intarwub. The girls net access kept dying
so we didn't close the deal. But maybe soon. Will this bother the
lady? I dunno. Would it bother you?
Hope you all have a good halloween. I am going to go buy some
candy and show the girl hellraiser. To paraphrase jello....
I am different all year long, I don't need one day to prove how
different I can be. That's for you ametuers. Enjoy
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
you sound content. even regarding jess. did you get my email?
and yes, it would bother me, but only because i think the idea of anonymous sex is totally hot on paper, scary as fuck in the bad way in real life.
Regardless of how you've lived, where you have been, you have always shown a determination to never fall too hard.
Don't ever sell yourself. If you never listen to anyone again, at least listen to me.
It only takes once.
Don't step that boundary. For what you destroy for gain is such an unbalanced transation.
You are an intelligent, insightful and stunning human being.
Just very alone.
Call me whenever, I'll always answer (thats not a tight promise as sometimes I magically fall asleep and can't be fucked answering my phone, but if you don't have a private number, I'll call you back.)
Have faith and patience. I'm always here.
- Pippa
[Edited on Nov 06, 2005 8:28AM]