tips for the day:
whenever you go to the hospital, bear in mind you should avoid at any cost letting any male nurses who weight more than 20 stone get anywhere near you with a massive needle and a catheter. or any other nurse provided with such body volume for that matter. also, make sure they haven't just recently graduated from nursing school and that you're not the first person they'll try to get a blood sample from. should you sympathise or just be a thrill-seeker and allow such procedure to go on, remind them the needle must be inserted at a 23 degrees inclination and that they are not supposed to be shaking like bamboo sticks. also remind them the veins must be allowed to spring first, swell up and go blue, otherwise it will be blown up and you will be very certain to end up with a massive bruise in your arm or a convulsion. the next step will be reminding them that if blood starts spurting out of your veins onto their uniforms, one should try to subside the situation using the skills learned in nursing school, or cotton, rather than hold one's head between one's hands, start screaming hysterically and hyperventillating. it is also important to remain calm. if by this point you're not yet about to faint due to blood loss or your eyes didn't start rolling nor your mouth foaming long before that, call the head nurse, which is usually a very nice old lady with silvery hair, glasses, and no heavier than 16 stone. finally, i strongly advise you to not allow yourself mix iodine contrast with orange squash. no explanation required, just trust me on that one.
following these very simple steps can save you from hypoglycemia, convulsions, fits of pure hatred, unnecessary traumas, aggression towards staff or members of the general public or dismissal of medical staff.
if this may be of any help, always pull the plaster out on the same direction of hair grow.
finally, buy yourself a penguin. they are really cool animals. i swear! people wouldn't keep them on top of their fridges for no reason at all.
whenever you go to the hospital, bear in mind you should avoid at any cost letting any male nurses who weight more than 20 stone get anywhere near you with a massive needle and a catheter. or any other nurse provided with such body volume for that matter. also, make sure they haven't just recently graduated from nursing school and that you're not the first person they'll try to get a blood sample from. should you sympathise or just be a thrill-seeker and allow such procedure to go on, remind them the needle must be inserted at a 23 degrees inclination and that they are not supposed to be shaking like bamboo sticks. also remind them the veins must be allowed to spring first, swell up and go blue, otherwise it will be blown up and you will be very certain to end up with a massive bruise in your arm or a convulsion. the next step will be reminding them that if blood starts spurting out of your veins onto their uniforms, one should try to subside the situation using the skills learned in nursing school, or cotton, rather than hold one's head between one's hands, start screaming hysterically and hyperventillating. it is also important to remain calm. if by this point you're not yet about to faint due to blood loss or your eyes didn't start rolling nor your mouth foaming long before that, call the head nurse, which is usually a very nice old lady with silvery hair, glasses, and no heavier than 16 stone. finally, i strongly advise you to not allow yourself mix iodine contrast with orange squash. no explanation required, just trust me on that one.
following these very simple steps can save you from hypoglycemia, convulsions, fits of pure hatred, unnecessary traumas, aggression towards staff or members of the general public or dismissal of medical staff.
if this may be of any help, always pull the plaster out on the same direction of hair grow.
finally, buy yourself a penguin. they are really cool animals. i swear! people wouldn't keep them on top of their fridges for no reason at all.
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Hope you're doing better than this suggests. Take care lassie