A RAISIN IN THE SUN
Written and directed by Michael Bay
ENTER Scarlett Johansen, totally in this awesome white Bikini. The camera makes several slow passes across her body as water comes out of nowhere and just, like, soaks her. The camera pauses on her face as she turns and says breathily
Scarlett: What happens to a dream deferred?
Scene.
We're now in a club with all these sweet lasers flashing and this nu-metal playing over the speakers and everyone is dancing around this giant raisin. In the background is a giant wall with the Budweiser logo.Then, the raisin turns into a robot and starts doing it's own dance, and all the other people start dancing with it, and at the end of the song it shoots a bunch lasers into the ceiling.
Robot: Does it dry up
Like a raisin in the sun?
Then the Robot flies through the broken ceiling using his rocket feet with the Shell logo on the sides. Just as he's about to fly into space, he drops a giant, like, twelve ton atomic warhead out of his ass on what's left of the club.
We switch perspectives to A man just crawling out of the rubble. He stares at his hands and mouths the words "I'm alive." Just then, a shadow appears over him, and from his view we see the warhead just about to drop on his head. We then take one last shot of his face as he gulps. He is wearing an Axe T-shirt.
The screen goes black and we hear a british voice say,
British Voice: Or fester like a sore-
And then run?
We see the guy in Axe shirt start to run, but then the war head hits and he's engulfed in this huge fireball. Then we see this giant office building with all floor to ceiling glass, and we have a shot of every window on all forty-six floors as the fire blows the glass out, then birds eye view of the fire engulfing it, then a view from the street, and then a view from the twenty-seventh floor copy room.
British voice: Or does it stink like rotting meat?
Next to the corpse of the Axe guy the raisin robot lands. Now he has this totally sweet McDonald's logo across his chest. Then this giant mango robot with a logo that sort of looks like a Burger king logo (But not enough so they'll sue us.) lands right on top of the Axe guy, crushing him. The "Burger King" robot aims this huge cannon, like the most gigantic, awesome cannon you've ever seen at the raisin robot and says in this evil, metallic voice
Mango Robot: Or crust and sugar over
Like a syrupy sweet?
Then the Mango robot fires his cannon at the raisin robot but he dodges and the laser hits the wall of a warehouse. The wall crumbles, revealing a giant wall-sized banner for Hot Pockets. The camera focuses on this for about ten minutes. Then we pan over to the raisin robot, who went to get something to eat at Mcdonald's while we were filming the wall. He aims his own cannon at the Mango robot and we hear him say
Raisin Robot: Maybe it just sags
Like a heavy load
Then the Raisin Robot retracts his cannon into his arm (he can do that) and starts running toward the Mango Robot, who also starts running toward the Raisin Robot. Despite there being about fifteen feet of space between them, this scene takes a half-hour.
And just when they're about to collide, the screen goes dark and we hear the british voice, but this time he appears on screen and says
British Guy: Or does it explode?
Then we see the two robots collide, and the biggest explosion you've ever seen on screen happens, and we shoot it from, like, nine hundred angles. This scene alone should be, like, two hours long.
THE END (I'm Micheal Bay! Boom!)
The assignment was to write a movie based on A Dream Deferred, the poem that opens A Raisin In the Sun. This is what came out.
Written and directed by Michael Bay
ENTER Scarlett Johansen, totally in this awesome white Bikini. The camera makes several slow passes across her body as water comes out of nowhere and just, like, soaks her. The camera pauses on her face as she turns and says breathily
Scarlett: What happens to a dream deferred?
Scene.
We're now in a club with all these sweet lasers flashing and this nu-metal playing over the speakers and everyone is dancing around this giant raisin. In the background is a giant wall with the Budweiser logo.Then, the raisin turns into a robot and starts doing it's own dance, and all the other people start dancing with it, and at the end of the song it shoots a bunch lasers into the ceiling.
Robot: Does it dry up
Like a raisin in the sun?
Then the Robot flies through the broken ceiling using his rocket feet with the Shell logo on the sides. Just as he's about to fly into space, he drops a giant, like, twelve ton atomic warhead out of his ass on what's left of the club.
We switch perspectives to A man just crawling out of the rubble. He stares at his hands and mouths the words "I'm alive." Just then, a shadow appears over him, and from his view we see the warhead just about to drop on his head. We then take one last shot of his face as he gulps. He is wearing an Axe T-shirt.
The screen goes black and we hear a british voice say,
British Voice: Or fester like a sore-
And then run?
We see the guy in Axe shirt start to run, but then the war head hits and he's engulfed in this huge fireball. Then we see this giant office building with all floor to ceiling glass, and we have a shot of every window on all forty-six floors as the fire blows the glass out, then birds eye view of the fire engulfing it, then a view from the street, and then a view from the twenty-seventh floor copy room.
British voice: Or does it stink like rotting meat?
Next to the corpse of the Axe guy the raisin robot lands. Now he has this totally sweet McDonald's logo across his chest. Then this giant mango robot with a logo that sort of looks like a Burger king logo (But not enough so they'll sue us.) lands right on top of the Axe guy, crushing him. The "Burger King" robot aims this huge cannon, like the most gigantic, awesome cannon you've ever seen at the raisin robot and says in this evil, metallic voice
Mango Robot: Or crust and sugar over
Like a syrupy sweet?
Then the Mango robot fires his cannon at the raisin robot but he dodges and the laser hits the wall of a warehouse. The wall crumbles, revealing a giant wall-sized banner for Hot Pockets. The camera focuses on this for about ten minutes. Then we pan over to the raisin robot, who went to get something to eat at Mcdonald's while we were filming the wall. He aims his own cannon at the Mango robot and we hear him say
Raisin Robot: Maybe it just sags
Like a heavy load
Then the Raisin Robot retracts his cannon into his arm (he can do that) and starts running toward the Mango Robot, who also starts running toward the Raisin Robot. Despite there being about fifteen feet of space between them, this scene takes a half-hour.
And just when they're about to collide, the screen goes dark and we hear the british voice, but this time he appears on screen and says
British Guy: Or does it explode?
Then we see the two robots collide, and the biggest explosion you've ever seen on screen happens, and we shoot it from, like, nine hundred angles. This scene alone should be, like, two hours long.
THE END (I'm Micheal Bay! Boom!)
The assignment was to write a movie based on A Dream Deferred, the poem that opens A Raisin In the Sun. This is what came out.