lord_shade

Man, I read your post in a group here and decided to visit your profile. You are suffering from some serious feelings of worthlessness. You need to remind yourself that you are not worthless regardless of your profession. There is nothing wrong with being a custodian. That makes me ask myself some questions about you, though.

Are you a custodian because you find it difficult to hold down another job because of your depression? This would be pretty understandable. Custodians often work at night and don't have to interact with people much, except their co-workers of course. Sometimes interacting with people, like your co-workers, exacerbates your depression--which makes you want to stay away from people. It is good that you have friends, though, as long as they are good for you.

Did your depression start in college? Did you finish college? This could be a cause of your depression. I know it is a part of my problem. I have a 3.56 GPA and will graduate with Honors in Basic Studies, but I am one semester short of graduation and can't afford to continue. Unfortunately, a lot of the jobs worth having where I live in Michigan require a college degree. Finishing college will help you find a better job, I almost guarantee it.

It sounds like you are looking for work now. Keep it up, perhaps you will find something that you like better with better coworkers. The sad part of the matter is that, the more you hang around bad people, the more likely you are going to become one of them.

In closing, you might want to consider posting your journal in that group that you visited. You might get some better feedback.

Good luck.

fuck 'im
the idea that anyone is superior than anyone else is a waste of time. either the idea that someone is better for having a college degree, or for not having one are both silly.
people take different paths. if getting a degree was the way that you arrived at this moment, cool. it may have not advanced your career but at least it was a learning experince, and hell, thats the whole point of college anyway, ya know?
also, he sounds like the kind of petty asshole who justifies his crappy life with the kind of crap you posted above

Title: My Luck or My Folly?

Lately, my days have been fraught with blessings.

Though granted, my privacy has been cut short due to constant guests of my roommate Raven, I have still been able to enjoy the nice spring weather, the latest films (I just saw Hellboy, not bad but I expected better), and even enjoy some music (my song of the week is "Romeo" By Basement Jaxx, from the album "Rooty"). I've been able to write some more, and the results are pleasing. I even had a pleasant dream a couple of nights ago. Then there's the fact that Raven's phone bill is about to be paid (thanks to me, which will cost as much as having a new phone connected in my name anyways, so what the hell...) so i'll finally have a local number! Not only that, my parents have good news. The family accountant just told them that I'm about to get a whopping $1200+ in my income tax return!

My parents suggest I put some into RRSP's. Sure, why not? Or better yet, I know a guy working for Investor's Group. He'll take care of my money even better. I'll put half into that, and the other half will be used to enjoy life for a change. Get some new clothes... maybe a part or two for the old computer... or furnature! Furnature! I need shelves! Raven's piles of anime tapes and CD's are taking over! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have six weeks to think about it.

I was thinking about the dream I had a couple of nights ago (BTW, I had one last night, barely remember it, but my dad was in it again). It made me realize that I deeply miss 'Saleem' (real name kept hidden to protect her privacy).

Maybe I should try to find some even ground between myself and my dad, be not so afraid of him, and even admit both when he's right and wrong (and be able to say it, instead of keeping silent). But you know what? He may be a bit aggressive while I insist on being gentle, but he has some valid points. And despite being loud and aggressive, he has done well in raising me. Funny thing is, i'm not his, i'm a son bred from when my mom was married to another guy. But hey... your father's the one who takes the time to raise you, not the one who f**ked your mom, right? I'll give my real dad his dues...

But 'Saleem'? I wish Raven would reconnect the phone faster (he's doing so today). I so desperately want to contact her! I haven't seen her since last July. I know she'll remember me, but I wonder if she'll be happy to see me, or if she'll even go out for a coffee? For that matter, why is it that i'm so excited about this? Why do I feel so elated about the prospect? I wish I knew...

Could someone offer some insight? I would greatly appreciate it.

I know exactly what you mean. After so long in school, it's all about to come to an abrupt end, and I don't know what kind of "real job" I will be able to get. I definitely don't want to join the U.S. military, though. . I'm sure it's not much help to have your parents breathing down your back as well. I hope you can find something soon!

i know exactly what you mean about not being able to argue without four years in a bible college. im not a Christian but people who are anti-christian, or anti-religion can really make me angry, their hypocrisy often beats any performed by a Christian. there was a whole lot of claptrap in that thread, a whole lot. and you know, religion is faulty, but atheism is just as faulty, science is full of holes, any belief structure (and i include science in that) is exactly that, structured on belief, and so ultimately these arguments are won by the lad with the bigger education (or the bigger cock). but i think maybe you dont need to take it all quite so seriously, they do for sure, but youve just got to let them blow away or youll be as guilty as them.

and as to not being able to be part of a Christian church, im sure if you looked around youd find one, even if its members dont subscribe to you beliefs exactly you should be able to find an open community that is willing to accept you as you are, there may be a load of hideous bible bashing politico Christians out there, but there are some good ones too, just like in any other group.
i go along to a church sometimes, and they are always up for a discussion, religion related or otherwise. they know i'm not a christian, but that's ok.

*blink*

Hey,
My hometown was Bankend, which is about another 45 min north of Lipton on Hyw #35

You know, all normal people do do is watch bad sitcoms and reality tv shows. thank your lucky stars you're not one of them. you're not a sterotype. i've never met a D&Der whe speaks in tongues, and your writing is not the writing of a mundane clone.

I hope God is good to you soon.