littlek15

Ten years ago today, LoveBug and I had our first date. I took her on a midnight hike through the woods. We climbed up to the top of a mountain (really, just a large hill). She was scared of heights, but put herself in my hands, clinging to me in the dark all the way up to the top. We laid out a blanket and had a picnic under the stars. Afterwards, we made love for the first time, and the second time. Then we cuddled as we watched the sun rise. Deep down, I sensed that my life had forever changed, and I couldn't wait to see it unfold.

Today, my alarm went of at 3:50 a.m. I promptly called in sick and then proceeded to stay in bed until 2:30 in the afternoon.

LoveBug lives about 40 miles away from me. Last year, she bought a restaurant about 3 blocks from my house - but she never told me. I had actually gone in the restaurant,presumably while she was there, and I never knew. Now, I do my best to stay away, but I still drive past it to and from work everyday. It haunts me knowing that she's that close, but she may as well be on Mars.

When hunger finally drove me out of bed this afternoon (after 19 hours), I started for the kitchen to get something to eat, but I never made it. Before I really had time to think about it, I had gotten dressed (sort of) and drove to LoveBug's store. I was there like two hours - parked outside,watching her work, trying to figure out how I was going to justify my presence if she spotted me.

When she finally did, I panicked and drove off.

My life has definitely changed, alright. I wonder how much time will have to pass before I will know if the change was for the better or the worse...