linenandlace

yeah i lost my shit at about noon today....at work. i knew i needed to go to the bathroom and just cry for a few minutes then just compose myself.... which i do a lot anyway.....but today i couldnt stop. i had to go up to the office to grab some shit and deb looked at me and asked me if i needed a hu and i just completely lost it. i sat talking to her for an hour about how fucked up everything around me is. how when i was 14 my parents had me put on lithium because they didnt have time to deal with whatever it was i was going through (i was confused....as 14 year olds are..... and unhappy and gay but no one not even me knew that yet)

how people leave me and never come back, how frustrating and enraging and upsetting it is to not be able to talk to your family about anything....how nothing is wrong, but everything is wrong.

so for the rest of the day tears poured down uncontrolablly.

and someone gave me advice but all i wanted to say is that i dont want your fucking advice....for once i need a shoulder to cry on.....my shoulders are always here for everyone.....but i'd like to have the same thing.....that woman? shes in maine. and shes too caught up with her ex girlfriend (re-girlfriend maybe?) to care....but she says she does.....

i look like a fucking crackwhore.