Morning all,
So, it's Tuesday the 4th of August ALREADY! Life is very up and very down for me at the moment but I think my reasons justify my feelings.
First of all, let's get the sad things out of the way:
1. My Pip was due in a week's time
I can't help but think a lot about what SHOULD have been
2. I'm currently homeless - my house flooded last Thursday night and I'm currently living out of a bag and sleeping on a single futon with Tessie - it's a squish.
3. I'm seriously overweight AGAIN - this pisses me off no end
4. My mum is a thoughtless, selfish bitch.
5. I saw my Nanny the other day and she looked so tiny in her new chair - she's definitely fading away now and she didn't even get up to see me out which she would do if she could - I'm so scared that her time is coming to an end. I don't know what I'll do without her.
6. It's pissing down here so I can't get out with Tessie for our morning walkies which we both need.
So, onto the good stuff:
1. I guess the ONLY good thing about that is that I'm not tied to Stinky for life, but still, I'd put up with that.
2. The builder will be coming round on Thursday to assess the damage so hopefully I can move back home soon. At least I get more cuddles with Tessie when we're squished in a single futon!
3. I'm overweight again because that's what anti-depressant meds do to me. I am trying to exercise more and eat plenty of fruit and veg and I'm feeling pretty healthy as it goes, just tight in the clothes department
4. That'll never change so there's fuck all point in even going there.
5. She doesn't want to be here - she wants to be with my Grandad. It will be a relief for her when she goes and that's the most important thing. Also, I will no longer have to deal with mother because I'll be able to tell her to fuck off then.
6. We can go out for a walk a bit later on if the weather brightens up. If not, I'm going back home tomorrow briefly so will pick up my swimming costume while I'm there as there's a lovely little pool right round the corner from where I'm staying. I will get some exercise if it kills me!!
There are loads more positives at the moment too including the fact that I'm currently living in the area of Southampton that I want to be in eventually. It's not looking so good for this year now as I'm a little skint and want to pay off some debts first but that also means that once the work has been done on my house and the carpets have been replaced, I can enjoy living in a wholly newly decorated house for a while which will be a massive treat for me.
A weird thing happened to me this week too - I saw Martin, the ex who I split up with in 1998 and haven't seen since. His head was really fat and round - I remember him as being a skinny little teenager with a FIT bod!! Anyway, I was able to pull up beside him and toot him so that he could see Tessie bouncing around in the front of the van - he really smiled although I don't think I'll ever know if he recognised me or Tessie, his smile didn't really give much away. Anyway, I felt nothing at all for him and didn't give a shit that he was going home to his 2nd wife - I was more concerned with the fact that he was also going home to his 2 new labradors - poor Tessie is his original baby girl - not those two heathens. Anyway, enough of that. It was nice to see him for a split second and show him Tessie and it was also nice to see him all fat and grey! I'm over 2 years older than him and still no grey, woohoo for me!! Hehe
What else. Oh yeah, friendship - my mate Sars has been a bloody star and let me and Tessie stay at her lush new house for the last few days. She even went shopping on Sunday and cooked us a lovely veggie roast which was an absolute treat! I've tried to repay her by keeping everything clean and tidy and washing up for her every day but the house is immaculate anyway so I dunno what else I can do really. I guess just try and keep out of her way and not annoy her.
Work is going ok too - got a few decent orders in lately which should keep the wolf from the door a little while longer - I just wish I could get established enough not to have to worry about overdrafts and credit cards, that would be nicer.
I got the Shift Assistant job with Festival Republic for Reading Festival - this I am very pleased with, particularly after being horrifically careless at Latitude and losing their 300 odd radio!! I also know my shifts already so I can be prepared before I get there - now all I need is a decent tent.
Right you lot, that'll do for me today - far longer a blog than I'd planned (as per bloody usual) but never mind.
Hope you're all experiencing sunshine rather than clouds/rain and oh, before I go, let's all go wish one of my oldest SG friends badrobot a Happy Birthday!!
xx
So, it's Tuesday the 4th of August ALREADY! Life is very up and very down for me at the moment but I think my reasons justify my feelings.
First of all, let's get the sad things out of the way:
1. My Pip was due in a week's time
I can't help but think a lot about what SHOULD have been
2. I'm currently homeless - my house flooded last Thursday night and I'm currently living out of a bag and sleeping on a single futon with Tessie - it's a squish.
3. I'm seriously overweight AGAIN - this pisses me off no end
4. My mum is a thoughtless, selfish bitch.
5. I saw my Nanny the other day and she looked so tiny in her new chair - she's definitely fading away now and she didn't even get up to see me out which she would do if she could - I'm so scared that her time is coming to an end. I don't know what I'll do without her.
6. It's pissing down here so I can't get out with Tessie for our morning walkies which we both need.
So, onto the good stuff:
1. I guess the ONLY good thing about that is that I'm not tied to Stinky for life, but still, I'd put up with that.
2. The builder will be coming round on Thursday to assess the damage so hopefully I can move back home soon. At least I get more cuddles with Tessie when we're squished in a single futon!
3. I'm overweight again because that's what anti-depressant meds do to me. I am trying to exercise more and eat plenty of fruit and veg and I'm feeling pretty healthy as it goes, just tight in the clothes department
4. That'll never change so there's fuck all point in even going there.
5. She doesn't want to be here - she wants to be with my Grandad. It will be a relief for her when she goes and that's the most important thing. Also, I will no longer have to deal with mother because I'll be able to tell her to fuck off then.
6. We can go out for a walk a bit later on if the weather brightens up. If not, I'm going back home tomorrow briefly so will pick up my swimming costume while I'm there as there's a lovely little pool right round the corner from where I'm staying. I will get some exercise if it kills me!!
There are loads more positives at the moment too including the fact that I'm currently living in the area of Southampton that I want to be in eventually. It's not looking so good for this year now as I'm a little skint and want to pay off some debts first but that also means that once the work has been done on my house and the carpets have been replaced, I can enjoy living in a wholly newly decorated house for a while which will be a massive treat for me.
A weird thing happened to me this week too - I saw Martin, the ex who I split up with in 1998 and haven't seen since. His head was really fat and round - I remember him as being a skinny little teenager with a FIT bod!! Anyway, I was able to pull up beside him and toot him so that he could see Tessie bouncing around in the front of the van - he really smiled although I don't think I'll ever know if he recognised me or Tessie, his smile didn't really give much away. Anyway, I felt nothing at all for him and didn't give a shit that he was going home to his 2nd wife - I was more concerned with the fact that he was also going home to his 2 new labradors - poor Tessie is his original baby girl - not those two heathens. Anyway, enough of that. It was nice to see him for a split second and show him Tessie and it was also nice to see him all fat and grey! I'm over 2 years older than him and still no grey, woohoo for me!! Hehe
What else. Oh yeah, friendship - my mate Sars has been a bloody star and let me and Tessie stay at her lush new house for the last few days. She even went shopping on Sunday and cooked us a lovely veggie roast which was an absolute treat! I've tried to repay her by keeping everything clean and tidy and washing up for her every day but the house is immaculate anyway so I dunno what else I can do really. I guess just try and keep out of her way and not annoy her.
Work is going ok too - got a few decent orders in lately which should keep the wolf from the door a little while longer - I just wish I could get established enough not to have to worry about overdrafts and credit cards, that would be nicer.
I got the Shift Assistant job with Festival Republic for Reading Festival - this I am very pleased with, particularly after being horrifically careless at Latitude and losing their 300 odd radio!! I also know my shifts already so I can be prepared before I get there - now all I need is a decent tent.
Right you lot, that'll do for me today - far longer a blog than I'd planned (as per bloody usual) but never mind.
Hope you're all experiencing sunshine rather than clouds/rain and oh, before I go, let's all go wish one of my oldest SG friends badrobot a Happy Birthday!!
xx
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
Reading will cheer you up! Hehe! If you can't give me a lift cause you gots to be ther earlier on Tuesday do ya think you can pcik me up from reading train station? *smiles sweetly*