Sometimes I feel like I'm never going to be any body. I never catch a break. No one ever wants to buy my creations or prints. Not one of my friends helps me out with my career ( when they completely could) I have no idea what I want for a stable career because I have way to many interests and talents I guess. And most of all I work my butt off trying to make a good life for myself and I have nothing to show for it. I go to school, get good grades, I work hard, I network, I try to help my friends, I paint, I draw, I photograph, I model. No one cares. No one wants to give me even the slightest help to help me achieve my goals.
All I want is to be able to live comfortably traveling the states working and collaborating with other artists doing what I love. I want to make a living off of this. I want to be an entrepreneur who made herself by working hard on her own, building things from scratch, selling her creations, and helping other artists along the way, but with all my efforts I feel like I'm not making any progress. That just makes me feel even worse because even though I do all this for the sake of my happiness, the thing that makes me the happiest is inspiring others and I can't do any of that without a little money.
I can't progress with my modeling because I don't have the money to travel or buy outfits/supplies to shoot with like other girls can. I don't have the money because I can't take more hours at work because I have school. School is supposed to be helping me with networking so I can find a better job, but so far all I've done is pay 20 grand for tuition and I'm still working a minimum wage part time job.
How am I supposed to get my name out there if I can't travel because I'm stuck at work and school? How am I supposed to put more money into my creations so that people will buy them if I don't make enough money?
I just feel like I'm always between a rock and a hard place. A never ending cycle. All I want to do is create and inspire everyday, but I'm not sure I'll ever get the chance. It would just be really nice to have one little thing handed to me just once or one good thing happen to me just because I'm due for it.
I sound whiney, but it's only because I work so hard and a lot of the times I feel like it's for nothing. It probably also has to do with the never ending snow storms we're having this winter. I'm pretty sure I have seasonal depression, which only makes all of this seem a lot worse than it probably is.
Thanks for listening to me vent. I do hope all of you lovelies are having a better day then I.
With all that being said if ANY one of you want to make me feel better. Send me a message requesting a piece of art you want to see me create for you. I know I've never posted anything on here before, but shoot some ideas at me I'm good with mixed media, portraits, and photography. Let me take my frustrations out in a piece of art that you will love. Help make my day by allowing me to make yours that much more enjoyable and interesting.
xoxoxo
