I'm back. Very ill. Unwisely, I reduced my migraine preventive medication Feb. 14 and went off on vacation, overconfident. Was OK except for dizziness on rising or rolling over in bed for about past 4 weeks, until the last day of vacation.
I had one of my unutterably terrifying attacks. Last night I was convinced I was going to die in front of my little son, shamefully crying in fear, in the middle of the mountains with no hospital for many miles (what was I thinking?). I've been knocking back the persistent vertigo and numbness with Ativan and incresed Depakote, but am still feeling "not normal." I'm scared. I may have to go to the hospital to get Depakote IV.
Will check in when I'm well. Wish me well. This is about as fragile as I ever become: terror, shame, sadness awash. So wish it. Magical thinking is all I have right now.
I had one of my unutterably terrifying attacks. Last night I was convinced I was going to die in front of my little son, shamefully crying in fear, in the middle of the mountains with no hospital for many miles (what was I thinking?). I've been knocking back the persistent vertigo and numbness with Ativan and incresed Depakote, but am still feeling "not normal." I'm scared. I may have to go to the hospital to get Depakote IV.
Will check in when I'm well. Wish me well. This is about as fragile as I ever become: terror, shame, sadness awash. So wish it. Magical thinking is all I have right now.
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I am thinking about you
hoping you are having some better living
you are terrifically strong and brave - and I admire you immensely. Your anger at the immense wastes of illness is something I have felt - and yet I think those who suffer are spiritually finer than the rest of us.
Take pride in your strength and resilience. The mark of wisdom in your being is broad & striking - part of that (I think) comes from your pain.
take care of that wonderful brain of yours - and be well