So, is that all? I've never felt quite so unremarkable. The way my lonely mother felt in the church pew year after year, never not even taken seriously. Just not taken at all. Just fading into unremarkable.
There is background of strife and illness in real life, but the real reason I'm so not here is that this is a stock exchange of niceties and...
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There is background of strife and illness in real life, but the real reason I'm so not here is that this is a stock exchange of niceties and...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
stompbox:
It sounds like you are really going through a tough time. I'm so sorry, I hope it gets better very soon. Let me know how you are, dear.
icedairborne:
My midlife crisis sucks... but there is always tommorrow. Hope life gets better for ya.
Denial
My husband and I were walking through a national forest. I sported all the buoyancy and porcelain complexion a young wife need boast, and the depth of the late spring shade and the bright greenness of the new leaves were as velveteen to the extended palm of the dreamer.
We climbed a hill. Weary and flushed, I discerned a hammock in a shaded nook....
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My husband and I were walking through a national forest. I sported all the buoyancy and porcelain complexion a young wife need boast, and the depth of the late spring shade and the bright greenness of the new leaves were as velveteen to the extended palm of the dreamer.
We climbed a hill. Weary and flushed, I discerned a hammock in a shaded nook....
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VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
remuemenage:
O Lassie
I hate that you are still so neurologically shaken up - it makes me sick with worry
wishing you well sweetlovely
you deserve peace of mind - with a mind as precious as yours
I hate that you are still so neurologically shaken up - it makes me sick with worry
wishing you well sweetlovely
you deserve peace of mind - with a mind as precious as yours
remuemenage:
I have one final exam on monday evening the 14th of may - and then I will be going offline here the next day
so .... I'll be focusing on typepad - and probably peppering you with e-mail occasionally for offhand remarkitude
it is comforting that you can see a pattern in your symptoms -------------------> I hope this breakthrough talk means that you are feeling better, or anticipating feeling better
it would mean so much to me to have your energy back in my life full force
you are such a wonder
take care of yourself
so .... I'll be focusing on typepad - and probably peppering you with e-mail occasionally for offhand remarkitude
it is comforting that you can see a pattern in your symptoms -------------------> I hope this breakthrough talk means that you are feeling better, or anticipating feeling better
it would mean so much to me to have your energy back in my life full force
you are such a wonder
take care of yourself
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
stompbox:
I'm thinking about it, and I can't see it. I'm not sure it's there, or if it's a dead end. The light, at the end, I mean. In fact I don't think there's an other side at all. It's amazing I keep getting up each day.
remuemenage:
my account here expires may 15th - you know where you can find me
So How Will You Gather Me?
Hubby and I are trying to complete some "curb appeal." One shutter rotted off, making the joint look like Green Acres. One task uppermost on my list was to replace the colonial carriage-lantern porch lights with some that are black and a little bigger. But the best laid plans of mice and women find . . . the spring...
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Hubby and I are trying to complete some "curb appeal." One shutter rotted off, making the joint look like Green Acres. One task uppermost on my list was to replace the colonial carriage-lantern porch lights with some that are black and a little bigger. But the best laid plans of mice and women find . . . the spring...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
remuemenage:
may the editorial gods and your bosslady favor you
as for me - I savor your words, always wise and welcome
wishing you better winds
as for me - I savor your words, always wise and welcome
wishing you better winds
remuemenage:
have I told you how much I love this dashing image
hair cast in front of your eye
the deep sexual glare of your lit eye and curl of your lip
pure magic
every photo is distortion - but this is distillation
hair cast in front of your eye
the deep sexual glare of your lit eye and curl of your lip
pure magic
every photo is distortion - but this is distillation
Worn down from illness, overtime, and a word processing staff that won't follow directions, I sent the e-mail today. You know: the one you send to your manager for distorting in the minutes your proposal to improve word processing staff procedures. You know: the one you cc the Director on because the Director missed the meeting. You know: the one three paragraphs too long. You...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
nicklesanddimes3:
you need a Guinness. I really tall, ice cold one 
remuemenage:
you are an exquisite creature - too fine for this world
I wish you the peace that you deserve
perhaps as nicklesanddimes indicates a long cold one is called for - and a long restful weekend
I wish you the peace that you deserve
perhaps as nicklesanddimes indicates a long cold one is called for - and a long restful weekend
It is just that i'm so overworked at my job. I'm gradually getting through this neurological deficit cycle (just simmering attacks of numbness, tremor, neck spasms, and some weakness in the evenings). I see my doctor Thursday, and if I'm still like this I'll go to the hospital and get Depakote by IV to stop this loop I'm caught in.
Anyway, my job is taking...
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Anyway, my job is taking...
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remuemenage:
you are too sweet to be so overburdened and neurologically shaken
I want you to take better care of yourself
any words from you lift my spirits
I want you to take better care of yourself
any words from you lift my spirits
remuemenage:
hoping you got some bang Lassie - if not Bhang Lassi
looking forward to the quiz ... color me quizzical?
looking forward to the quiz ... color me quizzical?
I'm back. Very ill. Unwisely, I reduced my migraine preventive medication Feb. 14 and went off on vacation, overconfident. Was OK except for dizziness on rising or rolling over in bed for about past 4 weeks, until the last day of vacation.
I had one of my unutterably terrifying attacks. Last night I was convinced I was going to die in front of my little...
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I had one of my unutterably terrifying attacks. Last night I was convinced I was going to die in front of my little...
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VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
alphanull:
Sorry to hear that, try this: http://www.drtauraso.com/
remuemenage:
O Lassie
I am thinking about you
hoping you are having some better living
you are terrifically strong and brave - and I admire you immensely. Your anger at the immense wastes of illness is something I have felt - and yet I think those who suffer are spiritually finer than the rest of us.
Take pride in your strength and resilience. The mark of wisdom in your being is broad & striking - part of that (I think) comes from your pain.
take care of that wonderful brain of yours - and be well
I am thinking about you
hoping you are having some better living
you are terrifically strong and brave - and I admire you immensely. Your anger at the immense wastes of illness is something I have felt - and yet I think those who suffer are spiritually finer than the rest of us.
Take pride in your strength and resilience. The mark of wisdom in your being is broad & striking - part of that (I think) comes from your pain.
take care of that wonderful brain of yours - and be well
No Birthday Pony for the Patchwork Girl
I got friends.
They're waiting for me to comb out my hair
Come outside and join the human race
But I don't feel so human . . .
Can you make it better for me?
Can you make me see the light of day?
Because I got lab coats
Who will bring me a panacea
While I'm watching...
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I got friends.
They're waiting for me to comb out my hair
Come outside and join the human race
But I don't feel so human . . .
Can you make it better for me?
Can you make me see the light of day?
Because I got lab coats
Who will bring me a panacea
While I'm watching...
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VIEW 20 of 20 COMMENTS
remuemenage:
I love Ted Hughes' savage verse
his taste in fragile women is a story in and of itself
enjoy yourself on holiday
his taste in fragile women is a story in and of itself
enjoy yourself on holiday
alphanull:
Hey Lassie, where are you? we are all in need of correction...
I held a Jewel in my fingers -
And went to sleep -
The day was warm, and winds were prosy -
I said "Twill keep" -
I woke - and chid my honest fingers,
The Gem was gone -
And now, an Amethyst remembrance
Is all I own -
And went to sleep -
The day was warm, and winds were prosy -
I said "Twill keep" -
I woke - and chid my honest fingers,
The Gem was gone -
And now, an Amethyst remembrance
Is all I own -
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
remuemenage:
sorry to be so severe
I'm always bringing the intensity - it is not my best quality
I've been cleaning house, and not liking what I have found in my life
you are dear to me - and I am trouble
I like that I have found you here, and have other cherished friends within these confines
I am on here atleast until may - and by then I may have had a change of heart. I've quit this before, only to be lured back by a sweet deal.
I tend to unload in your direction - I'm not sure why ... except that it seems that you can carry the freight, and perhaps enjoy the ride
anyway it is more fun to be frivolous than serious
and I love these words - any and all Emily Dickinson that I stumble upon moves me
I'm always bringing the intensity - it is not my best quality
I've been cleaning house, and not liking what I have found in my life
you are dear to me - and I am trouble
I like that I have found you here, and have other cherished friends within these confines
I am on here atleast until may - and by then I may have had a change of heart. I've quit this before, only to be lured back by a sweet deal.
I tend to unload in your direction - I'm not sure why ... except that it seems that you can carry the freight, and perhaps enjoy the ride
anyway it is more fun to be frivolous than serious
and I love these words - any and all Emily Dickinson that I stumble upon moves me
remuemenage:
O Sweet Lassie
I love you so much it hurts me to think of you oppressed and stifled
I have no such excuse for my relative silences here - I just lack inspiration (perhaps your inspiration)
I believe in your warrior spirit - you will come clear and be fruitful
until then know that my thoughts are with you, and it lifts my heart to the heavens when you find the time to slip me a message
love always
your remue
I love you so much it hurts me to think of you oppressed and stifled
I have no such excuse for my relative silences here - I just lack inspiration (perhaps your inspiration)
I believe in your warrior spirit - you will come clear and be fruitful
until then know that my thoughts are with you, and it lifts my heart to the heavens when you find the time to slip me a message
love always
your remue
[James, the tech guy at work, to Lassie, when she brings her computer to him for the fourth time to have it repaired for real for a change]
"Look at you traipsing in here with your big vocabulary and your Versace eyewear. Oh, please have mercy on me with my Dr. Suess vocabulary, for you are immaculate in my presence and surely thou must know...
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"Look at you traipsing in here with your big vocabulary and your Versace eyewear. Oh, please have mercy on me with my Dr. Suess vocabulary, for you are immaculate in my presence and surely thou must know...
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VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
shellymc:
i have to leave for a short while...
i'm hoping to make a comeback eventually..
but for now, i got to prepare for an upcoming move, so lots of packing, cleaning and scrubbing to do!
I have to switch apartments with my landlord by May (he's got another kid on the way, and they need our attic space)
so i got to take an internet vacation!
sorry to hear that your work is eating you alive....
i know how that can be sometimes.
i hope you are okay and i think of you often..
you can always drop me an email from time to time also, and i have yours as well.
I'll probably stay on SG for another week or so before heading off for a bit.
thank you for all your kind words..
your journals on here have been an amazing treat to read in the months that i've known you, you are an incredibly gifted writer, and i hope we can stay i touch.
hopefully, i'll talk to you soon
i'm hoping to make a comeback eventually..
but for now, i got to prepare for an upcoming move, so lots of packing, cleaning and scrubbing to do!
I have to switch apartments with my landlord by May (he's got another kid on the way, and they need our attic space)
so i got to take an internet vacation!
sorry to hear that your work is eating you alive....
i know how that can be sometimes.
i hope you are okay and i think of you often..
you can always drop me an email from time to time also, and i have yours as well.
I'll probably stay on SG for another week or so before heading off for a bit.
thank you for all your kind words..
your journals on here have been an amazing treat to read in the months that i've known you, you are an incredibly gifted writer, and i hope we can stay i touch.
hopefully, i'll talk to you soon
shellymc:
i hope you are having a good weekend so far...
i dont really remember my dreams most of the time,
but in my twenties, i had one of those astral projection things happen to me in my sleep (i was coming down from some drug or another)
it was probably one of the most amazing experiences i ever had in my dreams!
i think i should have been a stay home wife myself, as fulltime work never treated me very well...
but i didnt marry into money, so therefore its kind of necessary that i hold down a job
but yeah,
i would prefer to make a living getting drunk and watching movies all the time, so if you know anyone who's hiring for that job, let me know
i dont really remember my dreams most of the time,
but in my twenties, i had one of those astral projection things happen to me in my sleep (i was coming down from some drug or another)
it was probably one of the most amazing experiences i ever had in my dreams!
i think i should have been a stay home wife myself, as fulltime work never treated me very well...
but i didnt marry into money, so therefore its kind of necessary that i hold down a job
but yeah,
i would prefer to make a living getting drunk and watching movies all the time, so if you know anyone who's hiring for that job, let me know