Name change. Really spelled Brnach, but SG doesn't allow those characters.
Hello boredom, hello ADHD, hello back to the drawing board.
This one will stick. It's what my estranged father wanted to name me. He said my eyes looked sad, they changed colors when I was angry. They have never changed.
Sometimes the dream and the desire for something are much more appealing than actually... Read More
though I'm sorry you have to struggle with these numbing existential issues, I think writing about them helps elevate your friends' understanding as well as your own. I can see why your father said that about your eyes, I'd like to see them change sometime. You're a brave soul not to be scared to go to these places.
This is seriously the best.song.ever.
Don't even think about disputing me.
Working so hard, mostly because I am trying to forget all the reasons I feel like shit about myself. All the reasons why I am never good enough, always the friend never the girlfriend, always last picked for the team, always second choice. I think that is in the cards for some people, it... Read More
I know exactly what you're talking about - there's some people out there who need clobbered....and basically I'd love to do it. As for the working so hard, I completely understand that too. In my case personally, I reconnected with a female friend recently who had been in a very abusive marriage, and all thru the bad times she had told me I was her best friend in the world. But now that she doesn't "need" me now...she's fallen back in with some real dickhead friends who were NOT there for her when it counted, but now they get to reap all the benefits and I'm left out in the cold. So yeah, that kinda stuff I also try to block out by keeping way too busy, etc. I know where you're coming from.
I hope you find what you're looking for...you deserve to be a girlfriend to someone if only because of the honesty of this blog....it says a hell of a lot about you as a person.
I know Suicide Girls to a lot of guys is all about tits, ass, piercings and tattoos....which don't get me wrong, I love....and you are fucking sexy as hell yourself...I think you're just about my ideal chick. But it's also just as refreshing for me to read some of the honesty that comes thru and realize you're all living breathing REAL people. I don't interact nearly as much as I should, but I try when I can.
And again - I hope you find what you need and deserve! Hit me up anytime you want some humor or anything...I'm usually quite good at it
Long afloat on shipless oceans
I did all my best to smile
'til your singing eyes and fingers
Drew me loving to your isle
And you sang
Sail to me
Sail to me
Let me enfold you
Here I am
Here I am
Waiting to... Read More
Sorry no writing lately. Not that it is anything more interesting than a bunch of whiny bullshit....but I digress.
I got a job, one I really, really enjoy (so far) and a job that has everything to do with what I am going to school for. It is shift work which kind of sucks but I am willing to make the sacrifice.
Sometimes, you get tired of fucking up, tired of losing, tired of using and being used.
I am not sure if I have come to that point yet, but it feels a lot like sadness - is the word that comes to mind.
To give you a perspective I can see the plant from my bedroom window.
Because of my proximity to the above mentioned nuke plant, it's standard practice for you to sign iodine waiver forms when enrolling your kids in school. There has been a rush on the purchase... Read More
when I was 10 years old I was on a big anti-nuke crusade, wrote papers, letters about the hazards of the plants & the waste. I remember adults including a teacher's assistant taking me aside and "setting me straight" about how safe nuclear power was, that the dangers I'd read about weren't real. With what's happened since then, & now Japan, I'd like to find those people & say DUMBFUCK!! LOOK WHAT'S HAPPENING NOW!!
'Number fourthe girl who died on the table
The girl with golden hair'
The purpling body lies on the polished marble.
We open the throat, and lay the thyroid bare . . .
One, who held the ether-cone, remembers
Her dark blue frightened eyes.
He heard the sharp breath quiver, and saw her breast
More hurriedly fall and rise.
Her hands made futile gestures, she... Read More
Sometimes things are bad and you know it is, so very fucking bad but you can't stop yourself from doing it anyway. Like a well know side road that leads you to the freeway, but by the time you get there all you can do is ask yourself what the fuck?
I miss him so much on days like this. He was like that thing... Read More
