"I'm not afraid to die, I said. I'm not afraid to live. I'm not afraid to fail. I'm not afraid to succeed. I'm not afraid to fall in love. I'm not afraid to be alone. I'm just afraid I might have to stop talking about myself for five minutes."
--Kinky Friedman
I need to focus on my career more. What career, you say? I want nothing more than to be fabulous. All the damn time. I'd like it to pay well.
Here's my business plan (it's a rough sketch, feel free to add suggestions.)
1. Wear undergarments. I know many are a fan of my braless/pantyless thing, but I have a ton of lingerie that is languishing. Garter belts/stocking are a big part of this plan.
2. Wear lingerie all day long, especially the vintage stuff, with maribou slippers.
3. Public sex acts can be fabulous. I think I need more of this. (ok, I may already have tried this one out....shhhh.)
4. More cartwheels. Stand on my head more. It gets the blood flowing to my head, so I can think better about my next fabulous act. Wear skirts more, to make this more fun/interesting.
5. Find someone to drive my drunk ass around, so I can consume martinis with abandon. I basically need an assistant. One that can ensure that I don't fall down *too* much and that I get home eventually. Oh, and dance with me. Ability to swing me around is a bonus.
6. Work on my "naked photo processing lab."
7. Any time that I actually have to sit should include the insertion of ben-wa balls. That way, I have incentive to sit and work on the less fabulous things that I must do until perfect assistant arrives. I'll be having fabulous orgasms with out even trying. Oh yeah.
8. Get a llama. Ok, not sure this is fabulous for anyone but me.
9. Never get out of bed before noon.
10. Continue to make scenes in public, that I don't quite realize are scenes, because I'm so self-involved. The fabulous are always self-involved, right?
--Kinky Friedman
I need to focus on my career more. What career, you say? I want nothing more than to be fabulous. All the damn time. I'd like it to pay well.
Here's my business plan (it's a rough sketch, feel free to add suggestions.)
1. Wear undergarments. I know many are a fan of my braless/pantyless thing, but I have a ton of lingerie that is languishing. Garter belts/stocking are a big part of this plan.
2. Wear lingerie all day long, especially the vintage stuff, with maribou slippers.
3. Public sex acts can be fabulous. I think I need more of this. (ok, I may already have tried this one out....shhhh.)
4. More cartwheels. Stand on my head more. It gets the blood flowing to my head, so I can think better about my next fabulous act. Wear skirts more, to make this more fun/interesting.
5. Find someone to drive my drunk ass around, so I can consume martinis with abandon. I basically need an assistant. One that can ensure that I don't fall down *too* much and that I get home eventually. Oh, and dance with me. Ability to swing me around is a bonus.
6. Work on my "naked photo processing lab."
7. Any time that I actually have to sit should include the insertion of ben-wa balls. That way, I have incentive to sit and work on the less fabulous things that I must do until perfect assistant arrives. I'll be having fabulous orgasms with out even trying. Oh yeah.
8. Get a llama. Ok, not sure this is fabulous for anyone but me.
9. Never get out of bed before noon.
10. Continue to make scenes in public, that I don't quite realize are scenes, because I'm so self-involved. The fabulous are always self-involved, right?
VIEW 26 of 26 COMMENTS
And in answer to your statements's:
1. Undergarments can be just as sexy as being nekkid. Time, place, degree of horniness are factors however.
2. (Vintage) lingerie works. Frankly any lingerie does.
3. Public sex is a turn on.....as a voyuer, it is a real turn on. As a participant, I have had limited experience. Getting caught twice hurt a bit.
4. See #3 as being a voyuer and watching you do cartwheels in a skirt (undergarment-less perhaps?) is a great plan.
5. When you find said person, know that i will mix the martini's if I can get a ride. I make a mean VERY dry, Sapphire martini with a twist, straight up, stirred NOT shaken.
6. Must check out said lab when finished
7. See #3 again.
8. Llama's bleet (aka spit). You sure you want that around? Good thing they don't swallow. (I had to, it was RIGHT THERE!)
9. LOVE that idea
10. Scene's in public? Erm...you lost me here. I'll have to pretend i don't know you.