Sunday May 27, 2007

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McFlurries, Pickles, and brownies

Those are the three things I've been craving the most.. I've been having strange and odd cravings.. well crave pickles alone..not with anything..just pickles.. something tells me that pickles and brownies, and pickles and ice cream wouldn't be good!

Eh.. this weekend pretty much blew! I did go see Pirates two times..which rocked! Can't get enough Orlando Bloom. Other then that.. it pretty much sucked.. well I'm sorry today my day was brightened, and I did have fun with candykydfairy and PunkNiteMike and all we did was go out for lunch and hang out at the goodwill..that's it.. it's the simple things that make me happy! lol.. I spent yesterday with my cousin Hope..and I feel a lot more comfortable with Teneka, Mike, and Jake then I do with her.. I can talk more freely with them and be more myself! That's sad..I shouldn't feel so uncomfortable around family! OH well that's life I guess?

I almost got killed coming home Friday night! I was out with my aunt, cousin Brandy, and Alex and my aunt let Brandy drive..and we get to a railroad..there is a train coming the gates are coming down..the train whisle is blowing..and go rather faster and Brandy looks at her mom and says.. should I go? And she was serious! She wasn't kidding! I'm thinking oh my god this child isn't going to make it a week when she starts to drive...which will be sooner then later..so heads up to all the people that live in the Conover, Piqua, Troy area.. be ware.. be VERY aware.

My girl dog phoebe is in heat..and it's driving my boy dog Buster crazy.. that is one horny dog..it's really funny cause he goes through these spells where he humps the air.. I call it the hump dance.. it's so funny I really wish I could get video of it.. cause it makes me laugh. He also cries and barks a lot. I'm so happy that when men get horny they don't cry, bark and hump the air.. even though that would be a site to see!.. also shhh Buster is a virgin..he's never gotten in putang.. so he become one lucky little dog soon..and I better get some puppies out of this!! Buster is a brown Boston Terrier..and I'm expected brown babies and lots of money! Can anyone say Cha Ching $$$$!

I have poison ivy. I've never had it before! I knew my yard was covered in it.. but since I've never gotten it I didn't worry.. and now I'm suffering..lol.. It's awful! I can't itch it either cause then I'll spread it every where.. sucks man. oh and I'm really feeling frisky tonight.. wow that doesn't sound good! I don't mean frisky in that way..even though I'll probably go and play fuck or pass here soon..cause I'm a loser!

Of course I have questions

1. What is the funniest joke you ever heard?
2. Who is the funniest person you know?
3. Best quote from a movie?
4. Do you like Crunch -n- Munch?
5. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
6. Do you know anyone personally who looks like someone famous?? Real or fictional?

1. It was the salad shooter joke..and my mom's reaction was what was funny
2. my cousin Jessie
3. Wow..I don't know I just wanna see what others think
4.Yes I do..I have some on my desk..that's why I asked
5. My weight, stomach, and the thickness of my hair
6. Yes I know a boy named Nathan who looks like Waldo

Here are 101 ways to annoy people.. I love these things..

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

101 Ways To Annoy People
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".

10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.

11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

12. Sniffle incessantly.

13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

14. Name your dog "Dog." 15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".

19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.

21. Practice making fax and modem noises.

22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."

26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."

27. Wear a special hip holster for your
remote control.

28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.

32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

34. Drum on every available surface.

35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.

38. Sew anti-theft detector strips
into peoples backpacks.

39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

41. Set alarms for random times.

42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.

44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

45. Honk and wave to strangers.

46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.

47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

49. Wear your pants backwards.

50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

53. only type in lowercase.

54. dont use any punctuation either

55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

56. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.

61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."

62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."

66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.

68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."

69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

73. Drive half a block.

74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

75. Ask people what gender they are.

76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.

77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.

78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".

79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.

81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

86. Wear a LOT of cologne.

87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."

88. Sing along at the opera.

89. Mow your lawn with scissors.

90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."

92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something
about "psychological profiles."

94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."

95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

96. Never make eye contact.

97. Never break eye contact.

98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.

100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
gayballs:
a. thank you for being awesomely supportive all the time
b. PICKLES! GROSS
productiondiva:
I was born in Cali but I lived in Ireland. Which is where the accent is from. I have a Cali accent as well. I hate the way I sound either way

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