10 Things I Have Done That You Probably Haven't
10) My Florida walking story just goes to prove I came to complete stubbornness early. I wasnt more than Destinys age, maybe a little less, when my mother, in the thick of an argument with me, pulled the trick of If you dont like it, get out and walk. Much to her shock I opened the door and got out of the car. The next mile home was spent with her following me at about 5 miles an hour trying to get me back in the car, and there in the middle of some awesome Florida heat, I walked my skinny ass all the way home.
9) My encore to this was when I was a teen in NC and one of my mothers boyfriends actually laid down the This is your mothers house, if you dont like her rules, leave. I left. I was gone half the night, but was forced to return home when my feet started bleedingI left so fast I hadnt put shoes on.
8) I have a scar on my chin from when my mother spanked me outside a restaurant for throwing a fit (she wanted to go in, I was having none of it) and didnt have hold of me well enough. We wound up spending the time at the hospital instead when her swack to my ass sent me face-first into the pavement.
7) I had the hell hike with and ex and his other girlfriend. We left way too late in the afternoon in wintertime to really hike for long without flashlights (nobody brought any), the other girlfriend was five months pregnant at this point. There were five of us, and the boys (of course) thought we could make the waterfall we were going for before nightfall, and as nightfall came ever closer and the trail we were one went from broad enough to have two people side by side to a gravel nothing just wide enough for putting one foot in front of the other, they started talking about how we could make it home by moonlight. Well, one minute we could see, the next, pitch black. Night fell with a bang and a thud and because of cloud cover there was no moon. We walked about three more steps before we lost the trail, just *crunch crunch crunchswish*. Stop dead, double back, no crunch. Search a bit by feel and sound, we arent that far from the trailnothing. So now its pitch black, were lost in the woods, the pregnant female is beginning to have problems and really needs to get back to a warm car.and it begins to snow.
8) A follow up to this hike was when my son was born and we decided to hike down Ravens Trail to a waterway for a nice pagan baptism. We again left too late, but we didnt think it was that late, and again darkness fell with a bang and a thud. I discovered that climbing loose gravel trails on steep hills in pitch black isnt very good for keeping ones footing. I also discovered exactly how safe I could keep my son, he never even knew there was a problem, probably thought the falling and cursing and mommy wrapping herself around him was a fun ride, when he bothered to wake up to notice at all.
7) I hiked up Devils Courthouse pregnant, then climbed up the side of it. I also went skinny dipping. My son loved it.
6) I used to build wooden tents by hiking up a mountain, sawing down likely trees, and with a group of about 10 other girls carry them down on my shoulder, then proceed to chop, nail, cookie, and mylar my way into a healthy home habitat. One of the most amusing happenings in that tent was when I was using the chamberpot and a snake decided that moment would be excellent for crawling between my feet. Madness ensues.
5) On a lark I gathered up my boyfriend of the time and somewhere between cajoled and bullied him out to AZ. It was a two day drive either way, and we traveled from the top of the state to the bottom, having a great time on the way. We say the tourist traps, the big asteroid crater, the grand canyon Sedona (wow, talk about your natural temples) Tombstone, and other fun stuff. We were once stopped by part of whatever organization is responsible for trying to keep out illegal immigrants, and I found it amusing that the kinda cute, clean cut, well spoken young man who talked to us was (or his family was) a recent enough immigrant he still had the Mexican accent. We also wound up out of gas on a desert roadside at 2 am. Yes, it was my fault. No, I have no excuses.
4) I have been to two orgies. I had sex at neither one of them.
3) I once saw the dead body of a frog the size of a golden retriever. I was later told there was a shipment of animals to a nearby zoo that had some trouble and some of the animals escaped. One just happened to die in a canal nearby me.
2) I once saw something I swear was a UFO out my window, because there was nothing else it could possibly be.
1) I have been to a rave on top of a mountain on 72 acres of land. The only lights were tiki torches, some lights strung along pathways and a huge-ass bonfire, and the music could be heard for miles.
Bonus:
In first grade there was a teacher-parent meeting because I insisted the eastern half of the US was, in fact, an island. When my mother finally asked me to explain my reasoning, even the teacher couldnt find any fault with it. Things like this frequerntly happened at my schools.
And I havent even depleted my resources. You know, sometimes you realize you're not such a boring person after all. (Idea wildly snitched from Vanuslux.)
Back to homework....
10) My Florida walking story just goes to prove I came to complete stubbornness early. I wasnt more than Destinys age, maybe a little less, when my mother, in the thick of an argument with me, pulled the trick of If you dont like it, get out and walk. Much to her shock I opened the door and got out of the car. The next mile home was spent with her following me at about 5 miles an hour trying to get me back in the car, and there in the middle of some awesome Florida heat, I walked my skinny ass all the way home.
9) My encore to this was when I was a teen in NC and one of my mothers boyfriends actually laid down the This is your mothers house, if you dont like her rules, leave. I left. I was gone half the night, but was forced to return home when my feet started bleedingI left so fast I hadnt put shoes on.
8) I have a scar on my chin from when my mother spanked me outside a restaurant for throwing a fit (she wanted to go in, I was having none of it) and didnt have hold of me well enough. We wound up spending the time at the hospital instead when her swack to my ass sent me face-first into the pavement.
7) I had the hell hike with and ex and his other girlfriend. We left way too late in the afternoon in wintertime to really hike for long without flashlights (nobody brought any), the other girlfriend was five months pregnant at this point. There were five of us, and the boys (of course) thought we could make the waterfall we were going for before nightfall, and as nightfall came ever closer and the trail we were one went from broad enough to have two people side by side to a gravel nothing just wide enough for putting one foot in front of the other, they started talking about how we could make it home by moonlight. Well, one minute we could see, the next, pitch black. Night fell with a bang and a thud and because of cloud cover there was no moon. We walked about three more steps before we lost the trail, just *crunch crunch crunchswish*. Stop dead, double back, no crunch. Search a bit by feel and sound, we arent that far from the trailnothing. So now its pitch black, were lost in the woods, the pregnant female is beginning to have problems and really needs to get back to a warm car.and it begins to snow.
8) A follow up to this hike was when my son was born and we decided to hike down Ravens Trail to a waterway for a nice pagan baptism. We again left too late, but we didnt think it was that late, and again darkness fell with a bang and a thud. I discovered that climbing loose gravel trails on steep hills in pitch black isnt very good for keeping ones footing. I also discovered exactly how safe I could keep my son, he never even knew there was a problem, probably thought the falling and cursing and mommy wrapping herself around him was a fun ride, when he bothered to wake up to notice at all.
7) I hiked up Devils Courthouse pregnant, then climbed up the side of it. I also went skinny dipping. My son loved it.
6) I used to build wooden tents by hiking up a mountain, sawing down likely trees, and with a group of about 10 other girls carry them down on my shoulder, then proceed to chop, nail, cookie, and mylar my way into a healthy home habitat. One of the most amusing happenings in that tent was when I was using the chamberpot and a snake decided that moment would be excellent for crawling between my feet. Madness ensues.
5) On a lark I gathered up my boyfriend of the time and somewhere between cajoled and bullied him out to AZ. It was a two day drive either way, and we traveled from the top of the state to the bottom, having a great time on the way. We say the tourist traps, the big asteroid crater, the grand canyon Sedona (wow, talk about your natural temples) Tombstone, and other fun stuff. We were once stopped by part of whatever organization is responsible for trying to keep out illegal immigrants, and I found it amusing that the kinda cute, clean cut, well spoken young man who talked to us was (or his family was) a recent enough immigrant he still had the Mexican accent. We also wound up out of gas on a desert roadside at 2 am. Yes, it was my fault. No, I have no excuses.
4) I have been to two orgies. I had sex at neither one of them.
3) I once saw the dead body of a frog the size of a golden retriever. I was later told there was a shipment of animals to a nearby zoo that had some trouble and some of the animals escaped. One just happened to die in a canal nearby me.
2) I once saw something I swear was a UFO out my window, because there was nothing else it could possibly be.
1) I have been to a rave on top of a mountain on 72 acres of land. The only lights were tiki torches, some lights strung along pathways and a huge-ass bonfire, and the music could be heard for miles.
Bonus:
In first grade there was a teacher-parent meeting because I insisted the eastern half of the US was, in fact, an island. When my mother finally asked me to explain my reasoning, even the teacher couldnt find any fault with it. Things like this frequerntly happened at my schools.
And I havent even depleted my resources. You know, sometimes you realize you're not such a boring person after all. (Idea wildly snitched from Vanuslux.)
Back to homework....
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also moored on the canal is a rusty red boat, with a skull on the bow, pictures of jesus in the portholes, and little rubber skeletons dangling from the trees around it. will have to take a picture when i finally get around to buying a camera..