juxtapose

Atmosphere changing. Off to Spain this morning she went. The rocket has been pawned. The nice guy is still persistant. Reading material still heavy. Meditation has grown to one complete hour.

I feel comfortably numb.

Negative letters are such a nice way of saying good bye. I mean I love it when a person takes time to say hurtful things to me right before they leave. It's the greatest way, you get the last say, you throw the last dagger. It sounds so invorgating, and powerful.
Loving me was their biggest mistake. What should I do now with all this...
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Lets settle the score...
When things happen I wonder....should I steam on this journal or shall I keep all parts of life private.
Who the fuck cares.
....
The girlfriend turned out to be an egotistical, selfish, aggressive, alcoholic. Extremely disrespectful from physically and verbally abusive.
I'm not perfect but goddamn!
I've been to the circus, seen all the strings. From blame to intented guilt-raising....
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Makeover complete.

Fuck.

If you think that Katrina is bad........wait till they start using the Russian earthquake machine.

Days seem dreary.
Depression has morphed maniacal.
Reading is at light speed.
My woman has subtracted
Fading sorrow
Much bigger flies to swallow.
Empty pockets
Chalky hoarsness in my throat.
Fear and Foes synthesized


but...


I did manage to watch
Zataochi
SharkSKinMan and PeachHipGirl
Sonatine *depressingly uplifting*
and
Ichi 1

For Strength....

Send me high happy energetic vibes ...please.

I hate having so many things to do and not know where to start.

I applied for college.
I applied for a new job.

My g-f came back from a five day trip to Mexico and she brought me back a beautiful necklace and a ring.

Busy...