I just found out that I'm addicted to porn.
Actually, not just addicted but "psycho addicted."
I have these friends that are pretty fundamentalist christian and they asked to borrow my PC as it had a backup of their music (which they accidentally deleted.) I let them borrow it and the screen saver came up. It has about 800 images and around 7-10 or so (I'm not sure) were of Suicide Girls. So now they've all propagated this rumor that I'm "psycho addicted" to porn.
I mean, I always knew it was a matter of time before something slipped and my fundie friends knew I was "different/damned" but it still feels kind of weird. I have no friends that I hang out with regularly anymore. They already hadn't talked to me for a while and they never told me this directly (I found out indirectly through someone else) but it's like the vacuum has been kind of confirmed now.
In a way it's kind of disappointing in that Suicide Girls (or porn) aren't my life. What I mean to say is, that they found out about my deviation from Christianity in that I appreciate erotic art rather than that I find Christianity to be unconscionable is kind of an anti-climax.
It makes me think of when my pastor walked into my room when I wasn't decent. I tried to tell him to stop coming up the stairs but the old guy had bad hearing. When I went back to church somebody chuckled and said "You didn't expect pastor Dave in your room then, did ya?" I didn't like that either but I didn't mind that as much because I didn't really know very many people there outside of the pastor. The other kids generally shunned me when they didn't want me to think they liked me so I wouldn't tell the pastor about their porn. I never did tell anybody; I thought that was between them and God.They called me a bitch for demanding it to be turned off and I still thought it'd be rude and disrespectful to gossip about them with other people. It's ironic, isn't it?
Actually, not just addicted but "psycho addicted."
I have these friends that are pretty fundamentalist christian and they asked to borrow my PC as it had a backup of their music (which they accidentally deleted.) I let them borrow it and the screen saver came up. It has about 800 images and around 7-10 or so (I'm not sure) were of Suicide Girls. So now they've all propagated this rumor that I'm "psycho addicted" to porn.
I mean, I always knew it was a matter of time before something slipped and my fundie friends knew I was "different/damned" but it still feels kind of weird. I have no friends that I hang out with regularly anymore. They already hadn't talked to me for a while and they never told me this directly (I found out indirectly through someone else) but it's like the vacuum has been kind of confirmed now.
In a way it's kind of disappointing in that Suicide Girls (or porn) aren't my life. What I mean to say is, that they found out about my deviation from Christianity in that I appreciate erotic art rather than that I find Christianity to be unconscionable is kind of an anti-climax.
It makes me think of when my pastor walked into my room when I wasn't decent. I tried to tell him to stop coming up the stairs but the old guy had bad hearing. When I went back to church somebody chuckled and said "You didn't expect pastor Dave in your room then, did ya?" I didn't like that either but I didn't mind that as much because I didn't really know very many people there outside of the pastor. The other kids generally shunned me when they didn't want me to think they liked me so I wouldn't tell the pastor about their porn. I never did tell anybody; I thought that was between them and God.They called me a bitch for demanding it to be turned off and I still thought it'd be rude and disrespectful to gossip about them with other people. It's ironic, isn't it?
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hi, how are u?