These days Im really not sure what to do with myself. Sometimes it really sucks being an introverted homebody its so ridiculous to think that I can get everything I need through my laptop and my internet connection. But I think, its possible right?
Case in point:
About a year ago I met a lovely woman by the name of Polly, a one-time customer of the shipping company I worked for at the time. Polly was definitely a pre-op man, but she was so sweet and shy it was easy to forget she was also at least 6-feet tall and some 180-220 lbs of masculine pudgy.
Polly didnt like to go out at all. Agoraphobic, she explained, ducking her shaggy head. Normally she did everything she needed to do (purchasing groceries, clothes, makeup, etc.) by shopping online. Her passion was fixing up old ham radios and communicating with faraway, faceless people shed never meet in real life. The only reason she was out that day was because she didnt know of any way packages (spare radio parts) could be mailed out other than through a service.
Before I could stop myself I had informed her of an option I knew shed like: Home Pickup. All she had to do was set up an account (which could be done through a fax and a credit card), schedule a package to be picked up from her own house, and pay for it later. She would never have to leave her house at all, I thought. How convenient!
Polly was delighted at the idea, as you can imagine. Her smile was so genuinely relieved and grateful at the same time that I almost thought I had done the right thing in telling her.
Then of course, I never saw her again. There is such a thing as being too helpful, sometimes.
*
A year ago today I remember regarding myself as something of a gypsy. I was very proud that I had no home to call my own, except my truck. Movement always seemed like freedom to me.
Falling in love changed that, of course. I unpacked my duffle bag for the first time in 2 years, and made myself comfortable in this beautiful apartment by the bay, with the most irresistible man in the world and our 3 cats
And now the pendulum seems to have swung the other way I am now TOO comfortable with the idea of staying home all day, yet I have this horrible restlessness setting in that makes me want to bolt out the door, off to nowhere in particular.
Something needs to change. Im not sure what.
Can someone be satisfied with their life at the same time they can still feel emptiness?
Need advice, please.
Case in point:
About a year ago I met a lovely woman by the name of Polly, a one-time customer of the shipping company I worked for at the time. Polly was definitely a pre-op man, but she was so sweet and shy it was easy to forget she was also at least 6-feet tall and some 180-220 lbs of masculine pudgy.
Polly didnt like to go out at all. Agoraphobic, she explained, ducking her shaggy head. Normally she did everything she needed to do (purchasing groceries, clothes, makeup, etc.) by shopping online. Her passion was fixing up old ham radios and communicating with faraway, faceless people shed never meet in real life. The only reason she was out that day was because she didnt know of any way packages (spare radio parts) could be mailed out other than through a service.
Before I could stop myself I had informed her of an option I knew shed like: Home Pickup. All she had to do was set up an account (which could be done through a fax and a credit card), schedule a package to be picked up from her own house, and pay for it later. She would never have to leave her house at all, I thought. How convenient!
Polly was delighted at the idea, as you can imagine. Her smile was so genuinely relieved and grateful at the same time that I almost thought I had done the right thing in telling her.
Then of course, I never saw her again. There is such a thing as being too helpful, sometimes.
*
A year ago today I remember regarding myself as something of a gypsy. I was very proud that I had no home to call my own, except my truck. Movement always seemed like freedom to me.
Falling in love changed that, of course. I unpacked my duffle bag for the first time in 2 years, and made myself comfortable in this beautiful apartment by the bay, with the most irresistible man in the world and our 3 cats
And now the pendulum seems to have swung the other way I am now TOO comfortable with the idea of staying home all day, yet I have this horrible restlessness setting in that makes me want to bolt out the door, off to nowhere in particular.
Something needs to change. Im not sure what.
Can someone be satisfied with their life at the same time they can still feel emptiness?
Need advice, please.
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It was great to come here and find your message. It was also really kind of you to not buzz my phone last night. I was really tired and totally out cold when you posted that last night. It's strange to be three time zones away from you, darlin'.
But guess what? I scored Van Halen's first album today for $5 used! Dude. "Runnin' With the Devil" in full effect! Whoo-HOO!
-turn on the tv, and the stereo, and the fan, and the lights, and smoke
-write, and draw, and smoke
-get a new hurrdo, pick up a vonnegut book, and chocolate
it's pretty trivial i know but it's the best way to waste away these slumps until what got you to this point returns and you feel warm and fuzzy and content again.
it's a viscious cycle.
or take another set, and smoke.