My very good friend TheLastBeliever asked for a real update rather than a punk rock classic and I suppose he has a good idea since I so very rarely get to come here anymore.
Life is, as ever, a four letter word.
I'm tired of fighting, tired of dealing with the drama, tired of all the bullshit.
I guess I should be really happy right now, most things are looking up, but the things that aren't are really dragging me down.
I recently found out that in the past 5 to 6 months i've lost somewhere in the neighborhood of 60 to 70 pounds. Cool, right? I should be happy, right? Well, when you consider that i've lost a small persons weight and i'm still a fat fuckin' bastard it kind of puts it in perspective in a nasty sort of way.
Then there's the marriage. Not going so good right now. I love her, but love doesn't heal all wounds. Sometimes I wonder if she might be better off without me, maybe she could get her mind right. I don't know? I hope I never have to find out.
Wrestling is both extremely rewarding and horrificly frustrating all at the same time. Drama, drama, drama. Some of these rough and tough grown men bitch more than mother and that's a shockingly huge amount. Why can't people just shut the fuck up sometimes and do what's best for everyone? Because then life would be much too simple, right?
AARRRGGGHHH!!!
Fuck it, right now I just want out. Time out, ref'! TIME OUT! Stop the fucking ride 'cause I wanna get off!
Fuck it.
Life is, as ever, a four letter word.
I'm tired of fighting, tired of dealing with the drama, tired of all the bullshit.
I guess I should be really happy right now, most things are looking up, but the things that aren't are really dragging me down.
I recently found out that in the past 5 to 6 months i've lost somewhere in the neighborhood of 60 to 70 pounds. Cool, right? I should be happy, right? Well, when you consider that i've lost a small persons weight and i'm still a fat fuckin' bastard it kind of puts it in perspective in a nasty sort of way.
Then there's the marriage. Not going so good right now. I love her, but love doesn't heal all wounds. Sometimes I wonder if she might be better off without me, maybe she could get her mind right. I don't know? I hope I never have to find out.
Wrestling is both extremely rewarding and horrificly frustrating all at the same time. Drama, drama, drama. Some of these rough and tough grown men bitch more than mother and that's a shockingly huge amount. Why can't people just shut the fuck up sometimes and do what's best for everyone? Because then life would be much too simple, right?
AARRRGGGHHH!!!
Fuck it, right now I just want out. Time out, ref'! TIME OUT! Stop the fucking ride 'cause I wanna get off!
Fuck it.
VIEW 19 of 19 COMMENTS
I also relate to what you say on the weight loss. When I first started losing I though I had somewhere between 100-125 to lose. When i had lost a 100 and realized I was only half way there it hit me hard. It was pretty discouraging. Then when I started to gain some back it just depressed me more. I am starting to get it back under control again, but it isn't easy.
I just know I can't give up. On any of it.
I really hope you don't either. No matter how hard it gets. Hang in there.