Your horoscope, courtesy Madame Krakanova
Taurus (April 20-May 20) It may be time to make that move. Everything is moving all around you, and sometimes it's all you can do to keep up. This may be one of those times. Keep up.
Gemini (May 21-June 21) Maybe you're team isn't undefeated anymore. Maybe it's worse than that. Is that any reason to throw in the towel? It's a long season Stay in the race.
Cancer (June 22-July 22) Yes, you have it all figured out, but that doesn't mean you're not going to have to figure it out all over again. At least you've been keeping careful records.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) Just when you thought you were somewhere, you discover you are actually somewhere else. Still, you're somewhere. Just deal with it and things will take of themselves.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Remember those flying dreams? Remember how you never seemed to hit the ground? It all meant something. Now is a good time to remember what that was..
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) You're going to meet someone you think you might remember, but its all going to be a misunderstanding. Just go with it, you'll make a new friend..
Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 21) If a wave is made of particles, and a particle is made of waves, what difference does that actually make to you? Plenty, if you're wading in shark-infested waters.
Sagittarius (Nov.22-Dec. 21 ) Those railroad tracks that pass near you house could suddenly become mighty appealing. Travel may be a good idea, but get return tickets.
Capricorn ( Dec. 22-Jan 19) Suddenly changing conditions require your full participation and attention this week. If you stay involved, you can create something unexpectedly rewarding.
Aquarius ( Jan 20.-Feb 18) Although Curious George was "just" a comic, you may discover hidden meaning in his propensity for getting into tight spots. Remember who to call.
Pisces (Feb 19-March 20) It's fun to have fun, but you have to know how. It's also a good idea to keep your ID with you at all time,s and few dollar bills sewn into your long underwear..
Aries (March 21-April 19) You've certainly seen a lot of new things in the past few weeks. Don't worry, the parade isn't ending, but it may be about to turn a corner..
Do you ever walk into your local gigantic grocery store, look slowly around at all the racks and crates of so-called food, and wonderwho the hell eats all this crap?
I know I do. They keep trucking it in, and late at night stockers run up and down the aisles with steel carts under careening loads of cheetohs, macaroni, nutella, 7-up, Chef-boy-ar-dee an so on, endlessly.
Maybe it's your job to run around making sure all the Chesapeake Bay cookies are in order, that the crackers don't crack, the freezer keeps freezing, the pop-tarts don't pop.
Does the meat meet with your approval?
Does the wine selection make you wince?
Is the beer bearable?
How much cheese do you really need?
I used to have an appetite for Mission corn chips and sour cream. Those were the days. Oftentimes it was all I needed for dinner. Maybe a chunk of fruit to aid with the digestion, but chips and sour cream, they seemed to fill my nutritional needs and stave off scurvy all at once.
Now I can't stand the look of a bag of corn chips, most of the time. All I can think of is the gas they would give me if I ate them, and the bloated, cheesy feeling I would get.
it's even worse with the Safeway baked goods section. In one sense, the eclairs and creampuffs look rather appealing. But I know from bitter experience that if I purchase and eat them I'll regret it. Bloated, pale, refined, I'd be nothing but a bag of white sugar topped with cream substitute. I'd be genetically modified.
The search for edible and decent food that I endure would be familiar to my neolithic ancestors.
Suppose you eat that wild plant. What next? visions maybe, gastric upset possibly, a nice contented and nourished feeling a remote possibility.
I don't really know what I live on. I had some kung pao tofu from the co-op and later I ate a bowl of cereal. That's it for today.
Of course last night I was out to dinner at the chinese restaurant and fed well.
There is food available.
But when I walk into a Safeway lately I just feel intimidated and oppressed. It's about margins and returns, not about food at all.
This is my most compelling reason to move out of here and live someplace where I can grow a garden again and pick fresh fruit, and wander around picking chanterelles to make myself a nice omelet, topped with chives, maybe, with a little joint of meat browning softly in the coals.
Taurus (April 20-May 20) It may be time to make that move. Everything is moving all around you, and sometimes it's all you can do to keep up. This may be one of those times. Keep up.
Gemini (May 21-June 21) Maybe you're team isn't undefeated anymore. Maybe it's worse than that. Is that any reason to throw in the towel? It's a long season Stay in the race.
Cancer (June 22-July 22) Yes, you have it all figured out, but that doesn't mean you're not going to have to figure it out all over again. At least you've been keeping careful records.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) Just when you thought you were somewhere, you discover you are actually somewhere else. Still, you're somewhere. Just deal with it and things will take of themselves.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Remember those flying dreams? Remember how you never seemed to hit the ground? It all meant something. Now is a good time to remember what that was..
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) You're going to meet someone you think you might remember, but its all going to be a misunderstanding. Just go with it, you'll make a new friend..
Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 21) If a wave is made of particles, and a particle is made of waves, what difference does that actually make to you? Plenty, if you're wading in shark-infested waters.
Sagittarius (Nov.22-Dec. 21 ) Those railroad tracks that pass near you house could suddenly become mighty appealing. Travel may be a good idea, but get return tickets.
Capricorn ( Dec. 22-Jan 19) Suddenly changing conditions require your full participation and attention this week. If you stay involved, you can create something unexpectedly rewarding.
Aquarius ( Jan 20.-Feb 18) Although Curious George was "just" a comic, you may discover hidden meaning in his propensity for getting into tight spots. Remember who to call.
Pisces (Feb 19-March 20) It's fun to have fun, but you have to know how. It's also a good idea to keep your ID with you at all time,s and few dollar bills sewn into your long underwear..
Aries (March 21-April 19) You've certainly seen a lot of new things in the past few weeks. Don't worry, the parade isn't ending, but it may be about to turn a corner..
Do you ever walk into your local gigantic grocery store, look slowly around at all the racks and crates of so-called food, and wonderwho the hell eats all this crap?
I know I do. They keep trucking it in, and late at night stockers run up and down the aisles with steel carts under careening loads of cheetohs, macaroni, nutella, 7-up, Chef-boy-ar-dee an so on, endlessly.
Maybe it's your job to run around making sure all the Chesapeake Bay cookies are in order, that the crackers don't crack, the freezer keeps freezing, the pop-tarts don't pop.
Does the meat meet with your approval?
Does the wine selection make you wince?
Is the beer bearable?
How much cheese do you really need?
I used to have an appetite for Mission corn chips and sour cream. Those were the days. Oftentimes it was all I needed for dinner. Maybe a chunk of fruit to aid with the digestion, but chips and sour cream, they seemed to fill my nutritional needs and stave off scurvy all at once.
Now I can't stand the look of a bag of corn chips, most of the time. All I can think of is the gas they would give me if I ate them, and the bloated, cheesy feeling I would get.
it's even worse with the Safeway baked goods section. In one sense, the eclairs and creampuffs look rather appealing. But I know from bitter experience that if I purchase and eat them I'll regret it. Bloated, pale, refined, I'd be nothing but a bag of white sugar topped with cream substitute. I'd be genetically modified.
The search for edible and decent food that I endure would be familiar to my neolithic ancestors.
Suppose you eat that wild plant. What next? visions maybe, gastric upset possibly, a nice contented and nourished feeling a remote possibility.
I don't really know what I live on. I had some kung pao tofu from the co-op and later I ate a bowl of cereal. That's it for today.
Of course last night I was out to dinner at the chinese restaurant and fed well.
There is food available.
But when I walk into a Safeway lately I just feel intimidated and oppressed. It's about margins and returns, not about food at all.
This is my most compelling reason to move out of here and live someplace where I can grow a garden again and pick fresh fruit, and wander around picking chanterelles to make myself a nice omelet, topped with chives, maybe, with a little joint of meat browning softly in the coals.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
This is a lie. My true horoscope is this, brought to you by me:
Leo (July 23-Aug.22) You are fucking broke and your heart beats like an off-beat clock. Clack-tink clack-tink clack-tink. Sounds like the pennies in your pocket, and they don't buy shit.
xip