jody

Ok, so my last journal entry wasn't very long. This one should make up for it, I think.

The renovations at the store are finally finished! The basement is now open and full of manga. Our manga-girl customers were very excited. We painted the walls a nice purple colour and it has been admired by many. Actually, the girls seem to like it but quite a few guys have said "Well, it's very... purple" in an if-you-can't-say-anything-nice voice. The basement is supposed to be nice and bright and appeal to the girls, though, so we tell the guys to suck it up.

I went to a birthday party on Saturday night for a friend (let's call him B) who was turning 30. His big thing recently is theme parties. The theme for this was burlesque/bohemian. I accused him of just wanting a lot of scantily clad women to attend. There was no denial. I made myself a pretty cool costume (alas, I don't have a picture, but I posed for a few at the party so I should be able to find one to put up soon). It involved a corset, frilly underwear, fishnets, and black boots. I was really looking forward to the party. Too bad it all went to shit.

I'll warn you now, the next bit is going to be very much a rant.
First some backround info: B's last party was for new year's. Sometime in December he told me how he was stressing out about it because he wanted to invited me and his ex-girlfriend. His ex thinks I'm responsible for breaking them up. She is pretty much convinced that I made him break up with her to be with me. Without going into the details, I'll just say that I most certainly did not tell him to break up with her. I never dated him. We were only good friends at the time they parted. I guess it's nice to have a third party to blame, though, so she thinks I'm the devil. Since he was so stressed about everything, I just told him not to invite me to the new year's thing. I just did stuff with other friends. Since then, he's told me several times that he wishes that I had been there, blah, blah, blah.

So now back to the more recent past. He still gets together with his ex and he indicated to me that she didn't seem to be blaming me as much anymore. Ok, so I figured that attending a party that she would be at (along with at least 30 other people) would be fine. A week before the party, he tells me that he had talked to her and she (and her friends who were coming) thought that the party was going to be really awkward. Huh what? The only reason that it would have to be awkward is if they made it that way. I mean, we didn't have to interact at all, so what's the problem? As it turned out, we didn't interact. She and her group just shot me dirty looks all night. That I could live with.

The thing that really bugged me about the whole party was how B acted. I understand that it's hard to interact one on one with every person at a big event that you are hosting. But I didn't know the majority of the people at this event. It would have been nice if he had at least introduced me to some of his out of town friends that (in his own words) he really wanted me to meet. Maybe I should be used to this bullshit by now? He has this group of friends that have known each other forever and being around them isn't always the easiest experience. They seem very content to stay within their clique. They are friendly, but when I'm with them I always feel like the outsider. It's not just me, either. The only thing that kept me from leaving early was hooking up with some other "outsiders". This included a girl that B had really wanted me to meet (let's call her M). We introduced ourselves a few hours in to the party. M is a bit shy at parties where she doesn't know many people (just like I am). Thank goodness we found each other. Finally I had someone to talk to. Before that I had just wandered about aimlessly, trying to join established groups but eventually feeling so awkward that I moved on. She told me that she felt the same way. B had told us both that he really wanted us there, but then was nowhere to be found. No introductions. In fact the few times I did talk to him, the only thing he really said was something about how hot I looked or some sort of appreciative sound. I mean, come on. If you wanted me there so damn badly and it didn't bother you that a significant number of people were doing their best to make me feel uncomfortable all night why the hell wouldn't you at least make some time to talk to me? Or at least point me towards some people who wouldn't act like I didn't belong there? Wow, I can really feel myself getting into the rant now. Fuck, I'm just so sick of his bullshit. "You're so important, please come", only to be ignored or treated like an afterthought all fracking night? I especially enjoyed when this girl that he said he loves and she loves him (that's one other thing he said to me and another girl that night) walked up to me and when I tried to talk to her just gave me the snarkiest look and comment ever. Ok... I know you were friends with his ex but at least you were civil to me before. The whole situation was just toxic.

I went with a friend from work (a member of the original clique) who was doing his best to be a back-up host since B was very drunk. I remember him asking me if I was having fun, and very truthfully telling him that the evening pretty much sucked (this was before I found M). I guess I should stop whining. I eventually found someone to talk to and we hung out together the rest of the night.

I guess I'm just almost at the point where I don't care if I hang out with B anymore. I mean, we get on fine one on one, but if he can't spare a minute for me in a tough situation? Screw him. The next time we talk won't be initiated by me.
But I would like to see M again. She was super cute.

And now I feel better. I also apologize for the disjointed nature of the above rant.

I must have some happy things to report. I made yummy greek salad tonight with pita and hummus. Then I had cheesecake for dessert. Cheesecake is happy, right?

I should go to bed, though. Tomorrow I have to be at the store early because it's new comic day.

Oh, another happy thing. I had lunch with danny_g and JDRook Saturday afternoon and a good time was had by all. Thanks guys!