let's get stupid
I keep injuring myself.
Years ago, I called home from college to tell my parents I had sprained my ankle. My Dad's first question: "Did you fall off a shoe?" I have lately been damaging myself in similarly girly ways.
First, I cut my finger while cooking, and then split it open again while putting on tights, and again while detangling my hair. And then I slammed my thumb in a Pilates Reformer machine -- this, after years of making fun of Pilates, which it turns out I disliked just as much as I thought I would. And then I was actually injured by my own bracelet -- a big, hinged, metal bangle that clamps around the wrist, normally leaving plenty of space between my skin and the hinge -- except, apparently, when I clap at my own comedy show, thereby jangling the bracelet enough that it snaps open and closed again on my lower arm.
Just watch my stab myself in the eye with an eyelash curler. Those work better if you heat them up on the stove, right?
p.s. - In keeping with the "let's get stupid" title above, my credit card company put a security block on my card after I made a $49 purchase at a local Staples. Because that's sooo suspicious. The customer service representative (in Bangalore) seemed miffed by my argument: That's what credit cards are for. Could I really do anything less suspicious with my credit card?
I keep injuring myself.
Years ago, I called home from college to tell my parents I had sprained my ankle. My Dad's first question: "Did you fall off a shoe?" I have lately been damaging myself in similarly girly ways.
First, I cut my finger while cooking, and then split it open again while putting on tights, and again while detangling my hair. And then I slammed my thumb in a Pilates Reformer machine -- this, after years of making fun of Pilates, which it turns out I disliked just as much as I thought I would. And then I was actually injured by my own bracelet -- a big, hinged, metal bangle that clamps around the wrist, normally leaving plenty of space between my skin and the hinge -- except, apparently, when I clap at my own comedy show, thereby jangling the bracelet enough that it snaps open and closed again on my lower arm.
Just watch my stab myself in the eye with an eyelash curler. Those work better if you heat them up on the stove, right?
p.s. - In keeping with the "let's get stupid" title above, my credit card company put a security block on my card after I made a $49 purchase at a local Staples. Because that's sooo suspicious. The customer service representative (in Bangalore) seemed miffed by my argument: That's what credit cards are for. Could I really do anything less suspicious with my credit card?