Just purchased tickets to the boiling cauldron of sin and excess that is Vegas. I shall be in the modern sodom and/or Gamorra from the 24 of dec to the 4th of jan.. Christmas and New years. For those of you who are nosy and want to know just what in the hell a guy like me plans to do in vegas for so long here is a list of my plans. The soundtrack for the writing of this blog is Bombtrack By Rage against the machine.. GOD I LOVE MY FUCKING IPOD.
Sunday the 24th- arrive in vegas 9.15 in the lightly misted morn.. 9.16 cop feel on nearest shapely ass to be followed immediatly by an epic drunk with best freind.
Monday the 25th. Awake mouth tasting of exspensive booze smokes and call girl. Determine current coordinates in the LAS/NEV matrix. pick up pieces of best friend. Find casino Spend 300$ on most absurd bet available.. After winning said bet Spend large sum of money getting new mystery tattoo removed from genitals.
Tuesday the 26th.. Apply salve to laser burns on genitals. Z and I set off in search of B list celebs to Donkey punch.. After losing the fuzz and reaplying ointment to genitals take in topless show or go to strip joint. Spend Chedda on skanky broad and get drunk. Pass out in alley
Wednesday 27th. Awake to sound of garbage truck narrowly avoid being smashed flat. Wander for hours trying to find car. Make many lame *dude wheres my car* jokes. Fuck it.. Steal car head to Circus circus.
Thursday28th. Finally make it to Circus Circus where in the hell did the last 17 hours go? And where the hell is Zach? Is this car Driving Itself? Was that acid or did someone invent somthing stonger? My Left thumb says I must steal it pancakes.. My right demands to be placed securely in the ass of the nearest hooker. For saftey purposes.
Friday 29th. Today I go to church to atone for sins of last few days. Atrium of Church has slot machines in it.. No salvation here.. Can I get booze here? yes? Vegas is soo cool. Commence buying Father *elvis* drinks. Zach foricibly removes me from church, forces me to go to topless show.
Sat-or sunday Not sure Head hurts Feet feel really good. Why does everyone speak Spanish here..
Friday the 29th. I think..Maybey its earlier or later. I'm scared and wearing nothing but a tube sock.. Zach and I are in Panama I think.. Judging from the stars I can see from the window of our cell. Who Is Kaiser Sose` ?
Recover from Hallucination just in time for dropping of the ball.. 2007 Bitch!! WHOO!
Next few days spent paying off bookies and avoiding the mob and assorted legbreakers..
Jan 4th.. Return home.. Why does my right thumb smell? It won't wash off..
Tune in sometime after the new year to see how close this is to the real thing..
Peace .. APO
Sunday the 24th- arrive in vegas 9.15 in the lightly misted morn.. 9.16 cop feel on nearest shapely ass to be followed immediatly by an epic drunk with best freind.
Monday the 25th. Awake mouth tasting of exspensive booze smokes and call girl. Determine current coordinates in the LAS/NEV matrix. pick up pieces of best friend. Find casino Spend 300$ on most absurd bet available.. After winning said bet Spend large sum of money getting new mystery tattoo removed from genitals.
Tuesday the 26th.. Apply salve to laser burns on genitals. Z and I set off in search of B list celebs to Donkey punch.. After losing the fuzz and reaplying ointment to genitals take in topless show or go to strip joint. Spend Chedda on skanky broad and get drunk. Pass out in alley
Wednesday 27th. Awake to sound of garbage truck narrowly avoid being smashed flat. Wander for hours trying to find car. Make many lame *dude wheres my car* jokes. Fuck it.. Steal car head to Circus circus.
Thursday28th. Finally make it to Circus Circus where in the hell did the last 17 hours go? And where the hell is Zach? Is this car Driving Itself? Was that acid or did someone invent somthing stonger? My Left thumb says I must steal it pancakes.. My right demands to be placed securely in the ass of the nearest hooker. For saftey purposes.
Friday 29th. Today I go to church to atone for sins of last few days. Atrium of Church has slot machines in it.. No salvation here.. Can I get booze here? yes? Vegas is soo cool. Commence buying Father *elvis* drinks. Zach foricibly removes me from church, forces me to go to topless show.
Sat-or sunday Not sure Head hurts Feet feel really good. Why does everyone speak Spanish here..
Friday the 29th. I think..Maybey its earlier or later. I'm scared and wearing nothing but a tube sock.. Zach and I are in Panama I think.. Judging from the stars I can see from the window of our cell. Who Is Kaiser Sose` ?
Recover from Hallucination just in time for dropping of the ball.. 2007 Bitch!! WHOO!
Next few days spent paying off bookies and avoiding the mob and assorted legbreakers..
Jan 4th.. Return home.. Why does my right thumb smell? It won't wash off..
Tune in sometime after the new year to see how close this is to the real thing..
Peace .. APO