Im really in a bad place.
My sister in law is sick in the hospital. I care about her and want her to get better. But, more than that.....god this is so fucking selfish.....this is really messing things up for me. My mother in law wolnt leave her. I rely on my mother in law's childcare very heavily. I need her to take care of my daughter so I can work on our house, teach and attened the births of my clients. If I dont put 30 hours a week in at the construction site I could loose my home. That is the agreement. Thats why, at 22 yrs old I am in a position to own my very first home....because im doing it myself. No, its not Habitat for Humanity...but (sorta) the same kinda thing. I have a client due on the 16th. She could pop and 'ol time now, and I could be totally screwed. Since I live in a small hippy town, people with seroius medical problems have to go to Bremerton, which is about an hours drive. So, my only reliable 24 hour childcare is an hour away, sitting in a hospital. My husband works full time, so he's not much help.
*sigh*
I should be concerned with only the health of my sister in law....but I cant help feel this way. Its a big deal. I have had offers from friends to take care of my daugher, but for like an hour or whatever. I need someone to take her ALL DAY. 12 hours. But, even if I had such an offer it wouldnt be fair to Liv. She has only been cared for by one person
other than her parents, and I would feel shitty dumping her with a near stranger all fucking day. Very uncool.
*sigh*
I know this must be boring to whoever is reading this....but it helps me so much to type it out and examine my feelings. I love this site. I came for the "porn" (not really porn, is it?) and i stayed for the community.
-Amber
My sister in law is sick in the hospital. I care about her and want her to get better. But, more than that.....god this is so fucking selfish.....this is really messing things up for me. My mother in law wolnt leave her. I rely on my mother in law's childcare very heavily. I need her to take care of my daughter so I can work on our house, teach and attened the births of my clients. If I dont put 30 hours a week in at the construction site I could loose my home. That is the agreement. Thats why, at 22 yrs old I am in a position to own my very first home....because im doing it myself. No, its not Habitat for Humanity...but (sorta) the same kinda thing. I have a client due on the 16th. She could pop and 'ol time now, and I could be totally screwed. Since I live in a small hippy town, people with seroius medical problems have to go to Bremerton, which is about an hours drive. So, my only reliable 24 hour childcare is an hour away, sitting in a hospital. My husband works full time, so he's not much help.
*sigh*
I should be concerned with only the health of my sister in law....but I cant help feel this way. Its a big deal. I have had offers from friends to take care of my daugher, but for like an hour or whatever. I need someone to take her ALL DAY. 12 hours. But, even if I had such an offer it wouldnt be fair to Liv. She has only been cared for by one person
other than her parents, and I would feel shitty dumping her with a near stranger all fucking day. Very uncool.
*sigh*
I know this must be boring to whoever is reading this....but it helps me so much to type it out and examine my feelings. I love this site. I came for the "porn" (not really porn, is it?) and i stayed for the community.
-Amber