My thoughts swirling constantly about nothing, the utter lack of interest in anything other than games and Tv, the way I sigh in despair every time I open my eyes from sleeping to discvover that the dream that I had been walking in was, in actuality, just a dream. These things remind me every day that I am trapped in my own head, lost to the whims and wants of my errant conciousness. As I drift further and further into despair and detach myself more and more from my friends and family the truth of my apathy is no longer deniable, I am the living dead, and the person I was is gone. With this truth comes a certain amount of liberation though; I am at rock bottom, and when at the bottom there is only one place to go, if you don't count death. If there is anything positive about my current state of mind, that is it. I have not been sharing these thoughts because I do not wish to impose my shattered state on anyone, emotions and feelings are transferable and my awareness of that has kept me hiding from the world for months now. No one wants to be around someone who is miserable, paralyzed or not. So I am turning to you SG, to unburden myself from this pile of nonsense I carry with me. Thanks for listening.
That being said: On to a lengthy rant-
I have a theory that globalization, while inevitable, is responsible for the way things are going south here in America; and also about how the entertainment industry has single handedly disarmed my generation and every one who has been born since the 1980's by filling our lives with so many shiny distractions and fun things to do that we barely even notice, or care that the planet is about to evict us. There are exceptions of course but as a whole our society remains uninformed, distracted, and seemingly blind to the trap the we currently find ourselves in. Life is easy for most here in America, even though most Americans would argue that fact, but food is cheap and available on nearly every corner, same with electricity, same with housing, the same with water that runs hot or cold from faucets in our house, these things alone make even the poorest American richer that most of the people in the world. Materialisticly at least. Life is easy indeed, almost too good to be true. When I was young though my mother taught me that if something is too good to be true then it probably is, and for my entire life that saying has proven correct again and again and what people don't realize is that our troubles are just beginning.
From the weather changing, to the whole of our industrial endeavours leaving the country for cheaper labor in foreign countries, so that rich people can get richer, and poor people can get poorer, as they are forced to take jobs in the service industry because we simply do not make anything anymore, and the things that are made here can never hope to compete with institutions like Wallmart, who imports it's goods from factories it owns in impovershed countries that can be exploited easily because they do not have laws addressing things like working conditions, or minimum wages. Good for Wallmart, and good for the Wallmart shopper who can buy nearly anything for super cheap, but it's a trap that we have already sprung and are sitting in, grinning like fools. These are just a couple of the things that we face. It's no wonder that I am feeling apathetic and lost. Even if I were inspired what the fuck woud I do? What the fuck can I do that won't contribute to the failing of society as we know it? And why bother? The system in place now is unsustainable and as soon as we run out of oil it's all over, which will be in my lifetime do not doubt, it will be in your parents lifetime as well I am willing to bet, and once it happens hell will be unleashed upon us all. What am I to do now that I am dissillusioned? Practice my whistle blowing skills preaching to a society that doesn't want to hear my words because they imply that we have been fooled, and lulled into complacency, and that we may actually have to restrain ourselves and work to right a wrong that we have been led to believe is right? And that is: Consume, consume, consume and give nothing back but money.
I am not pointing fingers here, believe me, I am just as guilty as every other American. I love the fact that I have heat and air conditioning, I couldn't imagine not being able to sit here at my desk with my computer and lights and a belly full of food and all the shit that I have collected in my life to make me feel comfortable. I wouldn't want to honestly, and that is why we will fail. Because every person on this planet wants these seemingly simple amenitys but the sad reality is that it is just not possible, at least not in the way that we are going about it. And by the time enough people realize what is happening to make a difference it will be far, far too late; it may in fact already be far too late. So ya, I am depressed, and discouraged, because I can see the writing on the wall and despite that I am still a willing participant in something that is contributing to the destruction of my own race -not to mention the other creatures and plants that we share the planet with, and by happenstance actually need to survive. If I can't change, knowing full well the consequences of my actions, how can I expect others who are even less informed to change? I am aware that not every person has ample time to sit on their ass and watch documentaries, or read foreign newspapers, or watch cspan for hours, or do any of the other geeky shit that I do on a daily basis to pass the time. People have to work to survive, bottom line, so I can't blame people for being uninformed (unless you are stupid enough to break your neck like me,) I can't blame any one person or even the government (not completely) for the state we currently find ourselves in. It has been so easy to believe the lies that we have been sold by big business (our actual government,) because they said life is easy and comfortable if we just buy their shit, and so it is; the things I have I enjoy, some even make me happy in a way, but the price of comfort is far more than paper with a face on it. Our people have grown soft, and stupid, or even worse - apathetic. And as the world prepares to shake us off like flees on a hound, the survivors (if there are any) will find themselves in the worst situation they have ever seen or heard about, and no one will know what to do, or even have the will to do it. No one wants to hear this stuff but the truth is in our face; and as gas prices keep rising right along with the prices of everything else; and as globally we keep having record tide levels from ice melting; and record storms; and record temperatures, people are starting to become aware that things are not looking ideal anymore. I am not a seer, the signs are there if you care to look, and I am not the kind of person to ignore a problem when I see it. I only regret that I am too goddamned beaten down to pound on the doors of every house I encounter while shouting at the top of my lungs, "the sky is falling, the sky is falling!"
Take heed good people, because if you are reading this you have a privelaged life, and you will be just as sad as I when it all comes crashing down. Mark my words. In the meantime learn everything that you can, and enjoy as much as possible.
Post script - If you are from the Wallmart Corporation and what I have said offends you, I don't give a shit.
That being said: On to a lengthy rant-
I have a theory that globalization, while inevitable, is responsible for the way things are going south here in America; and also about how the entertainment industry has single handedly disarmed my generation and every one who has been born since the 1980's by filling our lives with so many shiny distractions and fun things to do that we barely even notice, or care that the planet is about to evict us. There are exceptions of course but as a whole our society remains uninformed, distracted, and seemingly blind to the trap the we currently find ourselves in. Life is easy for most here in America, even though most Americans would argue that fact, but food is cheap and available on nearly every corner, same with electricity, same with housing, the same with water that runs hot or cold from faucets in our house, these things alone make even the poorest American richer that most of the people in the world. Materialisticly at least. Life is easy indeed, almost too good to be true. When I was young though my mother taught me that if something is too good to be true then it probably is, and for my entire life that saying has proven correct again and again and what people don't realize is that our troubles are just beginning.
From the weather changing, to the whole of our industrial endeavours leaving the country for cheaper labor in foreign countries, so that rich people can get richer, and poor people can get poorer, as they are forced to take jobs in the service industry because we simply do not make anything anymore, and the things that are made here can never hope to compete with institutions like Wallmart, who imports it's goods from factories it owns in impovershed countries that can be exploited easily because they do not have laws addressing things like working conditions, or minimum wages. Good for Wallmart, and good for the Wallmart shopper who can buy nearly anything for super cheap, but it's a trap that we have already sprung and are sitting in, grinning like fools. These are just a couple of the things that we face. It's no wonder that I am feeling apathetic and lost. Even if I were inspired what the fuck woud I do? What the fuck can I do that won't contribute to the failing of society as we know it? And why bother? The system in place now is unsustainable and as soon as we run out of oil it's all over, which will be in my lifetime do not doubt, it will be in your parents lifetime as well I am willing to bet, and once it happens hell will be unleashed upon us all. What am I to do now that I am dissillusioned? Practice my whistle blowing skills preaching to a society that doesn't want to hear my words because they imply that we have been fooled, and lulled into complacency, and that we may actually have to restrain ourselves and work to right a wrong that we have been led to believe is right? And that is: Consume, consume, consume and give nothing back but money.
I am not pointing fingers here, believe me, I am just as guilty as every other American. I love the fact that I have heat and air conditioning, I couldn't imagine not being able to sit here at my desk with my computer and lights and a belly full of food and all the shit that I have collected in my life to make me feel comfortable. I wouldn't want to honestly, and that is why we will fail. Because every person on this planet wants these seemingly simple amenitys but the sad reality is that it is just not possible, at least not in the way that we are going about it. And by the time enough people realize what is happening to make a difference it will be far, far too late; it may in fact already be far too late. So ya, I am depressed, and discouraged, because I can see the writing on the wall and despite that I am still a willing participant in something that is contributing to the destruction of my own race -not to mention the other creatures and plants that we share the planet with, and by happenstance actually need to survive. If I can't change, knowing full well the consequences of my actions, how can I expect others who are even less informed to change? I am aware that not every person has ample time to sit on their ass and watch documentaries, or read foreign newspapers, or watch cspan for hours, or do any of the other geeky shit that I do on a daily basis to pass the time. People have to work to survive, bottom line, so I can't blame people for being uninformed (unless you are stupid enough to break your neck like me,) I can't blame any one person or even the government (not completely) for the state we currently find ourselves in. It has been so easy to believe the lies that we have been sold by big business (our actual government,) because they said life is easy and comfortable if we just buy their shit, and so it is; the things I have I enjoy, some even make me happy in a way, but the price of comfort is far more than paper with a face on it. Our people have grown soft, and stupid, or even worse - apathetic. And as the world prepares to shake us off like flees on a hound, the survivors (if there are any) will find themselves in the worst situation they have ever seen or heard about, and no one will know what to do, or even have the will to do it. No one wants to hear this stuff but the truth is in our face; and as gas prices keep rising right along with the prices of everything else; and as globally we keep having record tide levels from ice melting; and record storms; and record temperatures, people are starting to become aware that things are not looking ideal anymore. I am not a seer, the signs are there if you care to look, and I am not the kind of person to ignore a problem when I see it. I only regret that I am too goddamned beaten down to pound on the doors of every house I encounter while shouting at the top of my lungs, "the sky is falling, the sky is falling!"
Take heed good people, because if you are reading this you have a privelaged life, and you will be just as sad as I when it all comes crashing down. Mark my words. In the meantime learn everything that you can, and enjoy as much as possible.
Post script - If you are from the Wallmart Corporation and what I have said offends you, I don't give a shit.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
hyatt:
Not at all. 
Tell me which picture and I'll give you a bigger version.
Tell me which picture and I'll give you a bigger version.
trekka:
Haha! My chest piece will do that to ya! I get Lateralus stuck in my head every time I read it. That was the idea. Lateralus is music therapy for me. 
That was the idea. Lateralus is music therapy for me.