My thoughts swirling constantly about nothing, the utter lack of interest in anything other than games and Tv, the way I sigh in despair every time I open my eyes from sleeping to discvover that the dream that I had been walking in was, in actuality, just a dream. These things remind me every day that I am trapped in my own head, lost to... Read More
Hello, and long time no correspond! How are you? In my absence I took some time abroad, to study the world around me and reconnect with myself. The term abroad may be misleading as I didn't actually go anywhere, but believe me - I am now in a different world. It is so easy to lose sight of oneself that I can scarce believe that... Read More
Goodness. Your recovery must have been difficult. :\ Sorry to hear it, but I'm glad you're in better spirits now.
As for me, I'm taking my 'me time' back. It was hard with my cousin visiting because I didn't want her holiday to be ruined by my family's BS. She's awfully deprived of so many things. I really couldn't just leave her. I think I was successful, but I burnt myself out.. just a touch.
Anyway, feeling better. Ty for your words and welcome back.
LMAO! Well thank you for your input. The thing is I wasn't seeking this out. Nor do I really expect well anything in return. Having said that I agree with most of what you said. I went ahead and followed this detour...do I regret it no not even a lil but I do believe that wasn't in my path. I always land on my feet and as Scarlet always said after all tomorrow is another day. I will carry this lil bit in my heart and as always move forward. In order to find balance you need to move forward.
Well friends, my account runs out in an hour or so and the chances of me renewing are slim to none. While our interlude has been brief I have met some interesting people here, but I am left ultimately unfulfilled. I will miss having a sounding board for my rambles but I have decided to rearrange my life, and as of now it does not... Read More
The last month has been strange for me, to say the least. The drama that I usually try to stay free of has caught up to me and a lot has changed, mostly for the worst. Reality checks are like that sometimes though. I fear my relationship with two people who are very dear to me has been shattered, perhaps beyond the ability to be... Read More
I'm sorry to hear that a bad situation has reached critical mass for you. I don't know what this is, of course, but I've known great trauma and having to change everything one thinks they know; I've known people too and I've known betrayal. I guess we all have, but for some of us it cuts deeper somehow - maybe more than it should. If you, like me, are one of those, you have my empathy. I don't know of your physical ailments, but I hope you can find some other ways to rid yourself of your frustrations...
You're still angry, so it's fine to be selfish with your inspiration for now. But, I hope you don't become bitter and suspicious of everyone. People can be utterly incomprehensible, (and that understates the matter, I know) but mostly everyone really is doing their very best to be their best. I truly believe this.
Oh I'm so very sorry. I've learned that most people are who they are and have never tried to better themselves. As for helping...sigh....eventually you learn that some people will thank you for helping and others will take it for granted. Gotta surround yourself with the ones that lift you up and only bring the best out of you. 30 is when I started coming to alot of conclusions. I looked at my life and started figuring what I wanted. What made me a better person. Who I wanted in my life and who needed not to be in it and everyone else can just fade away.
As far as inspiration goes...I'm sure it will come again. I truly hope you feel better. I'm a huge believer in things happening for a reason and I'm sure you didn't want these people out of your life and that you only tried to help with the best of intentions. It's okay not to know why it happened or learn something from it. Sometimes it will come to you when you least expect it or just simply not to put yourself in that situation.
Anywho...if you ever need to rant I say go for it.
Take care.
I watched a good movie last night called Happy Endings, if you haven't seen it I recommend it. When I was done watching it I found myself restless though, unable to sleep, and no matter how hard I tried my thoughts spiraled inward, and I became introspective, reflective. The movie was over at 5:15 am mind you and while I was well aware that sleep... Read More
Thank you I am always doing double takes when I see you comment on my page, you look so much like a friend of mine's x bfs. Especially in your profile picture. If I've told you this before, my apologies.
Ok all better now, last night's vague blog was simply the result of a failed mission on my part. The mission was to get drunk and write a whole shit ton, however, I do not drink often and when I do I have like a glass of wine, or a beer, sometimes two. Last night was my ex's birthday party at my old favorite bar,... Read More
Another lovely day here in WA., clouds and rain and clouds and more clouds and rain. Wait... holy shit I see the sun!! Aaaand it's gone again. But at least the clouds and rain are back. It ALMOST never gets old. At least I have leftover firecracker salmon from last night. If you are a little confused as to what firecracker salmon may be then... Read More
Well I broke my wheelchair a few months ago, it isn't a big deal, just the tiny little pin that holds the back upright broke in half. The people I bought it from came and picked it up on friday though to take back to their shop, which means I have been stuck in bed all weekend... fucking lame, lemme tell you. I called them... Read More
For a long time now I have been contemplating on a way to share some of the information that I have learned in one short blog but... this may not be possible. I may need to write a book, here is a sample at least.
Tell me which picture and I'll give you a bigger version.
Good luck!!
