jackinblack

outlasted another week of attempted crushings from all the little deadbeat pipsqueek sledgehammers of everyday life blahhhh what a fuckin fuck fuck fuck sooooo i couldnt dare nt write in my state of abjection everyone here knows about that seems which is actually really good strangely enough its like we really are all in this slowly sinking ship together ive been freaking out about alot of stupid things like getting older and being horribly nostalgic about people and places and times from the past very bad behaviour the LA show is turning into a major fuck up nothing has sold which is really really weird without sounding egotistical it is unusal for nothing at all to sell as well im very very dubious about the people whoare running the show since they are getting abit shifty about sending the work back to australia fuckers it stinks of dodginess i can only hound them from here about it
this hardly explains the curious fear of getting older i blame it on that infernal ipod playing on shuffle every day i hear songs which i have not played for years like all that old goth music christain death sisters of mercy fields of nephilim bauhaus i dont listen to for maybe close to 10 years so of course i have been thinking alot about back then and i miss it id kill to be 19 again everything is so new and carries no negative preconceptions.
only just survived friday night had a dinner party with 3 friends they are all vegatarian soi made stuffed yellow capsicums and some salads like couscous salad and a boccoccini salad this was fine except we drank 7 bottles of wine and then went out to the judgement bar of which i remember only flashes of. the next day i wanted someone to take me to the hospital...
today i felt better went to the studio and did some good painting started one of brutalmix actually which is turning out good i will do more tomorrow and than its another 3 days of having to work for the MCA preparing the next exhibition or something to do with giant blue model cars made out of melted down crayons