it seems as though i will never be more than this
bitter, used, abused, bruised little girl
and as the cycle continues...
i am in the mindset that this is the only way i can operate
does this mean i want this?
you?
i haven't yet found what will empower me
to rise above this mindless circulation of lies and maltreatment
for now i cannot smile
just lay here like a drone as you do with me as you wish
i keep running as road keeps getting longer and my legs are growing weak
i ask myself why travel the distance if there is nothing at the end of the road
bitter, used, abused, bruised little girl
and as the cycle continues...
i am in the mindset that this is the only way i can operate
does this mean i want this?
you?
i haven't yet found what will empower me
to rise above this mindless circulation of lies and maltreatment
for now i cannot smile
just lay here like a drone as you do with me as you wish
i keep running as road keeps getting longer and my legs are growing weak
i ask myself why travel the distance if there is nothing at the end of the road
VIEW 20 of 20 COMMENTS
While I was on the outside this week, I dropped in on your journal and was so frustrated that I could not respond. I felt so sad reading what you are going through, and just wished there was something that I could do or say to make it better for you. I wish that our community were closer geographically, and we could all hang out together.
I know you don't need to be told this but this rough period will pass. I've had a damn near lifelong battle with depression, and at those rough points I have felt pretty bleak. My friends and family are what has kept me sane through it all, and even if you were to not have anyone there, I know that you have at least one real life friend in here that cares a great deal for you, and given an opportunity most of the people on your list above would happily give you a shoulder, a hug, and lend an ear. Life is hard but the good parts make it so worth it!
*hugs IJM*
Sorry to be so long winded, I'm a sappy guy.