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I'm sorry kids, I really am, but I can't do it.

I can't relent when two liberals from So Cal try to tell me that I have no right to blast WV. Your hardships there would be the highlights of my life here; don't try to tell me you know better. I do envy them for growing up in a place where they got a...
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aikaterine:
aww dude this post made me miss you like the sky misses the birds!
squidproquo:
You will be missed. frown
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All right. Here's the deal...

I had another horrible couple of nights, and I responded by writing yet another lengthy existential crisis/I can't relate to the people here manifesto. It's long, well-written, and angsty. The time I invested in it should have been spent towards the book, whose word count could have definitely needed the attention as my publisher's deadline is getting closer and closer....
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jennifer:
i bought these the other day the green kind they are yummy I'm depressed too but it will be ok!
missmontana:
Hey sweetheart.


I am sorry that you are feeling so down. Is there anything I can do to help?


Seth Green is so cute and little. He is exactly 1 inch taller then me! I wanted to meet him so bad. frown


Love you. Feel better!

kiss
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I finally had a decent session at the keyboard last night/early this morning; I'm feeling optimistic that I can catch up on the book's deadline this month. I'm still a little disturbed that I'm feeling so dispassionate towards writing on a subject in which I've traditionally held in esteem and reverence. I really need to try something with more creative independence after I get this...
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minerva1:
i'd totally go and buy it
morgan:
It's true that love is just another emotion...I hope that it's one of the strongest ones though.
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Another night wasted at the bar. Bleh. I didn't drink, since I held to my position of getting back, so it mostly consisted of babysitting drunk girls, which is not nearly as fun as it used to be back in the day. I wouldn't have went, but I was asked on the spot, and I seem to have trouble saying 'no' to people when I'm...
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missmontana:
I am your friend. But you never talk to me anymore.
missmontana:
Bella did it... lol
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cambria:
oops blush
there is a resemblence. that smirk of hers is just like yours.

whatever
jennifer:
haha!
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The last few days have been sadly unproductive. I thought I got back into the writing groove, but I've nothing more than a couple headaches from starting at the blank screen to show for my efforts. The first book flowed so easily; several hours could pass by with my noticing that night had turned into morning, and I would be 12,000 words closer to the...
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missmontana:
Hey you!

I haven't talked to you in days! how you doing? Not so great huh?

You already have a book published? what is it about? I would totally read it!

L
syntax:
You mentioned being unable to write when you're depressed, which sounds frustrating -- but on the bright side, at least when you're happy, you're not wishing for some drama to give you something to write about.

It seems like nonfiction-masquerading-as-fiction-with-a-few-changed-names is becoming pretty popular as a genre -- guess Eggers kicked it off with the heartbreaking, and the genius bit.

Do you write better or worse when drinking?
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All right, here's my current status in a nutshell:

Clinical depression has obviously reared its ugly head, despite my attempt to drive it away with disbelief. The anxiety attacks over the past few months were a large red flag, but I chose to blame individual moments of stress in my life rather than accept the greater problem. The speed in which I snapped out of...
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thistle:
Sometimes alcoholism becomes a disease. I don't think people choose to become alcoholics any more than they choose to get alzheimer's. Some people become alcoholics drinking in the same way as other people who never end up with a problem. For example, some college students clean up their act and stop drinking after college, and others slide into alcoholism.

I hope you find help for your depression.
jennifer:
depression sucks it really does frown I try to get my mind off of things I
bake yummt food
take walks
do school work
read
write letters
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I apologize for the last entry; I keep forgetting how upsetting it is to read something like that. It also seems that people only seem to read my journal when I write something that I will later regret writing. Still, the anonymity of the internet spares me most of the embarassment that could come from such things.

However, the jist remains the same: my ability...
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kwizzle:
No, I'm glad that he's coming, but I wish, you know, some *family* could make it.
lotus:
and thank you soooooo much for that! I really appreciate it! kiss !!
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I think this place is coming close to finally claiming victory over me, since I can't think of one good reason I need to keep living.
jennifer:
there are lots of reason!
archernu:
On the off-chance that statement isn't hyperbole, her name has five letters and begins with an "R." That said, I'm pretty sure I know the feeling. I would leave Boston tomorrow if doing so wouldn't screw two of best friends financially.
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Only when the world is overrun with zombies will the world know peace.
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Last night was the date from hell.

While the story of why it was the date from hell is tragically humorous, I decided to spare myself the humilation of writing the details here for the sake of a cheap laugh. I think I've finally grown weary of being nothing more than a source of amusement to people. I'm also tired of a lot of other...
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faeriedust:
You poor little thing.... I hate when people give up on love. That makes me sound like one of those mushy ass people... I've found that instead of the outlook you have just keep the thoughts that you're not looking for anything, and you could careless if anything came up. And that's when you find something lovely.


Yeah, that's probably not what you want to hear....
You can donate your genitalia to me... I always wanted one of my own... shocked
jennifer:
I never go on dates I give up
I want to live alone with a small little dog and support myself that is what I want to do my dog can love me and be my baby