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I've got the 'Ohne' part...but the 'Dich', is quite elusive...

I've been subsisting on bread and water for the last few days because I'm too lazy to walk to the store.
Today I..
-I watched Hedwig and the Angry Inch
-Did some studio work..some
-Talked to D, got pissed off
-Convinced myself that no one gives a flying fuck about anyone but themselves and...
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incorect:
...but I came so highly recommended.. . ................ ... . . ..
ceraphim2:
even out our swiftest speed we couldn't break from the concrete in the city where we still reside. i dance and dance, and nobody sees the secret steps incorect, maybe the secret is in the sauce. maybe everybody is selfish, maybe life's stupid as fuck. i just pick up the pace and barge headlong into the waves even though i keep getting smashed into the sand. its getting more and more subtley apparent that i'm waiting for the undertow. i keep thinking that there probably isn't a great romance left for me, everyone else grabbed em off of the shelf at the sunday morning special at famous barr while i was still sleeping... albeit i'll wait for it to happen regardless. you should too, there's a perfect girl for all of us i hope...
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I had a meeting with the supernintendo of the district and now it looks like I might not get re-instated. Kicked out of the district! Also: the world is out to get me. That's okay, maybe I'll go to Sage Day or Basking Ridge. Those places are fine, they're where I was supposed to go to school. You know, cause I'm crazy. ::slowly inserts hat...
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iggy:
can i be the drag king playing the piano?? pretty please??

why the fuck won't they let you back in the district? youre gonna have to go to catholic school or something :shudder:

and youre not crazy, everyone else is... kiss
ceraphim2:
the hat pin does more good in the retina.
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It goes Brooklyn from the seven one eight. I am street. I will cut you. Actually I'm pretty nerdy, got bored went through old video tapes in the basement. I watched Roman Polanski's Macbeth the other night. I liked it, although I'm not a big fan of the scottish play (except for the "to-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow" speech, which I love so much I...
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tadzi:
i dig that movie too. though i could have done without the naked little boy. that was a little weird.
ceraphim2:
I'm more a melancholy dane kind of girl. <- i understand what you were saying, but its the quote of the day because my first name is dane, haha. if you be the pajamas, and i be the meow, thats one sexy cat. miao!!
hey i just got wolverine 1,3,4,5 on ebay. i live for it too, sad sad.
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Sometimes life is what happens to you after you die. The continuing post-mortem adventures of Jen! Well..you know..obviously not.

WEMF! World Electronic Music Festival!! this summer, it will be grand. 3 days in canadaaa! tents! take off work! come with me and a lot of gay people! I don't think I'll go overseas this summer, going alone is kinda shitty. I'll save this years travel...
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autumnfade:
Yea Canada rocks! I was up their for the Jazz fest last summer and the film fest in 03 good luck at the WEMF. Oh yea I think your kool as hell-AF
tadzi:
i dont really know if i could do the open relationship thing....its something i could agree to in theory, but ive been doing the monogomous thing my whole life....its kind of hard to undue 14 years of dating experience, ya know?
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Often I find that I have to talk myself out of liking people so much...for my own sanity and for the sake of this pathetic, trembling organ in my chest. I must be cursed. Marlena came over, the inevitable happened...kinda don't wanna talk about it, but let's just say I'm starting to see a pattern. What a sick, lonely feeling. Sometimes I am emotional and...
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iggy:
Don't take the sheeps head out of the bath tub. Thats the best part.
tadzi:
what iggy said.

i can relate though...my pattern is that they disappear without a trace out of nowhere. i seem to only become attracted to emotionally broken women. frown
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Oh sweet merciful meat cleavers...
Marlena is coming over to keep me companyblush . Oh jeez. Why am I so nervous? We've hung out before...oh cool! i'm vulnerable! yes. score. awesome. belly bump. high five. go jen. Perfect. ughh that weird giddy feeling..she reminds me of..ouija boards, camel cigarettes and loose soil ::sigh:: and of course we'll just be friends...friends that see each other naked....
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The winter's got me even if the sun is shining. Miserable...a polite winter. Lately, it's like, I feel blank. my clothes smell like grandfather clocks and tobacco, and I'm listening to Hole again and there's a heart attack in a jar quietly buzzing on a bookshelf. Do I have to feel this vacant? I feel love, but it doesn't shine. I guess I'll just have...
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ceraphim2:
i will incorect. don't be sad... its not a good use of time unless youre using it to your advantage while creating something. maybe this will make you happy...
last night i fulfilled your fantasy, haha. sounds wierd right? but there was this girl at the bar with a crutch and picked it up to move it off of a chair so i cuold sit down and i hit the girl on the other side of me right in the face with it. now smile you.
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Status one intensive outpatient starts tomorrow. Funny, I got my paycheck and said "Wow, look at all the money I'm not going to spend on drugs" Shit for brains. I think the money will go towards a new pair of Docs. Mmmm. I'm so tempted to buy a pair of white ones, but I know I wont.
I may go out Saturday night depending on...
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iggy:
that chick sounds like a wierdo.

wierdos. all of 'em. kiss
iggy:
i do need to go buy vegan shit. maybe i will make that trip if my car feels like cooperating.
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Status one intensive outpatient. Grand.

Went to East Orange last night, yes it's a shithole, but some of my dearest friends rome there. Saw a beautiful squater girl there...and then i found myself saying "NO JEN! you will just end up with a broken heart and scabies like the last time". God damn you travelin girls!

I went out to lunch with my dad... Thai...
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Morphine lollipops and a red notebook.
more on fancy:
From prehistory it can be seen that what raises man above the animals (if indeed this can be claimed at all) is a special capacity that has long and mistakenly been identified as reason, but which we now venture to call fanciness(!!!). It is now generally accepted that reason cannot bear the weight that westerm tradition...
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incorect:
All these parts, your regrets, my poor grammar, fashion sense, smell, damage to the olfactory nerve, the holes in your pupil, my first cigar, the first time i made myself bleed, the last time i made myself bleed, silent diapproval, i hope they lock me up, you hope they lock me up, ruins, ruins, ruins, osteology, romance, romance, fat cells in the bath tub, a jar making noises, , , G, boot prints in mud, your favorite vital organ, dirt, famous suicides, a mandolin, the attic, your friends, not so famous suicides, plastic wrap or testimonials, busy signal, bad teeth, a winner, never say you're sorry, miss your target, you know it's true, anxiety for good things, double image, don't you fret now, art museums, cocaine, never ending rain, construction sites, tell people what i would never do, act, lie, choke, solve for why, never ending rain, practice kissing, drown, latin for 'i burn', latin for 'headache in my heart', or german for 'can you end my life', empty can, empty chest, pillow full of blood, head full of blood, kitchen sink, lungs, the top drawer, cantonese for 'can you end my life', it's just money, that which you already know but wont admit, smug, poetry festivals, psychotic episodes, re-runs, no one cares about you, stupid laugh, someone beautiful, dark pensive eyes, that smile, crippling depression, a fit, wedding cake, power, a survivor, electrical outlets stuffed with clay, fear of dying, a liar, throw the phone against the wall, throw myself down the stairs, enemies, clouds, rifles, sitting on speakers, squatter girls can be tender too, korean for 'can you end my life', boiled potatoes, i will be anything, parachutes, dirty finger nails, happy to see me, no idea, missing time, a winner, boots touching boots, even more precipitation, a sad song, fistful of bella donna, medicine, the other side of the country, quirky smile, manic, manic, manic, around the throat, speak slow, dramatic hand gestures, hold me back, self loathing, whatever you want, ,,
tadzi:
i always kinda figured man started to go downhill once he had too many toys...he became a slave to them. or maybe ive just watched 2001 too many times.
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I love smart girls. Marlena just called she played the harp and we talked.. my brain had an orgasm. It burned.

School gave me two weeks vacation AND a hearing with the super nintendo of the district. Two weeks of what? I could catch up on some reading!
I've barely settled in but I am contentedly scheming away; I have wicked designs upon the wall,...
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ceraphim2:
have you ever read The Last of the Mohicans, by cooper. its what i'm taking my time reading right now, its such a beautiful poetic writing style, very romantic. you can tell the guy loooved shakespeare. so anyways...hi...nice to meet you. tip of the hat, bow of the back, coin in the cup. buy yourself something warm to eat...don't spend it on drugs blackeyed