incorect

it's my 8th day as a non-smoker, and i have resigned myself to the loss. i'm the the mother of a cigarette shaped dead baby. i expected a war would be fought over my right to cause cancer & emphysema, but apparently the cause was not so important afterall... i only find myself at a funeral where i say nice things about the corpse but...
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i had some money today & felt a queer magnetic pulling (somewhat different from the average queer magnetic pulling) toward the direction of an asian supermarket where i might purchase a bit of exotic seafood. i've never had an ocupus or squid tenticle in my possession & must wonder at the possibilities... again, not for food... but for mixed media, interpretive dance...

it's a beautiful...
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this exit

i had a broken mind when i started this. it's been here during each of the forest fires that burned in my trust apparati. when i'm satisfied i don't really want to write- and so of course here i am prepared to offer up a sour gift to the gods, a depressed, nauseated virgin who would love nothing more than to bake and wretch in...
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getting ready to update....mmmm da da doooo chicken suit and a small guitarrrr

times they are a-changin'. went to the city to visit zed and the gang. sick girls por vida?

bus ride #1.
i wrote a long letter that i intend to send eventually & marvel at thigh-like mountain ranges... these themes are unrelated.

zed is the mastermind of many beautiful things, but i am most grateful to her for having forgiven me for ignoring her so...
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Long time no..anything. I've been off discovering the healing properties of isolation, hard liquor and Plasticine. I'm wandering around the internet..for now I'm playing favorites with my other journals/blogs. I tend to migrate, update one blog religiously then forget about it, find another host. I have so goddamn many ..one for everything. I've even got one for recipes!

My nerves have locked me in a...
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I was supposed to go to qxts last night, but I had some sort of weird panic attack/cardiac arrest/ near death experience so i decided I'd better stay in. Didn't want dani to know i was still having these little episodes so I told her my father wasn't letting me go out. Boy, was she pissed. Errr my chest hurts. Today was one of the...
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I keep reading books about nonexistent people whose lives I lust after. This depresses me. Overdosing on gloomy introspection and sour-grapes-ism makes jack a dull girl. I need to retreat to my totemistic cheer-up thingys. Blood, sex, death, and art set everything right.

I found one of my grandmother's old cookbooks, featuring a number of deeply disturbing Jell-O recipes. The top three offenders:

Sour Cream...
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One handed typinggg...
I find myself greatly enamored of this 18th-century ivory carving depicting a tentacular embrace. As the site describes it:
A girl diver (ama), wearing nothing but a grass skirt is being ravished by an octopus. The creature's tentacles ensnares her legs and two of them curl about her breasts. She is making a token resistance but the arc of her neck, her...
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I spent the past 3 days in bed. health...it's novelty to me most of the time, like finding airplane parts in your frontyard.

everyone is sharing such beautiful music. please, for the love of god, don't look at me like that...keeping horrific details to myself this week, they aren't beautiful but only leave me sick and anxious and worrysome. we make our ugliest journeys all...
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Fun weekend. Photos to come.

I feel optimistic about this upcoming month though these subtle reminders do nothing for nervousness... i'll likely die nervous and hysteric in need of victorian electroshock therapy.... the old man with a vibrator trick- and i'll fall for it, again, and again...

i don't know what's wrong with me, i say as i rationalize away any trace of loyalty &...
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