back on track and progressing steadily...
with my parents support for what seems like the first time. i told my mom about my research this morning, and she just starting to realize how brainwashed she actually was. she also disclosed to me some of what they'd told her. this provided me with the certainty i'd been struggling to attain last night (i was kinda swishing back and forth with insecurity, but this solidified me.) i asked her to try to reflect back on the experience to remember as much as she could. she agreed.
so, i've decided that i'm moving back in with my parents until september. i'm going to immerse myself in my projects; my art (i've decided that i want to have a booth in every local art fair possible, so if you guys know of any that are coming up, please let me know,) my music, and my research, reflection, and writing in preparation to make my documentary.
yesterday, my mom was bitching at me about how i need to have a job, yada yada. i tried to explain how i need all my energy to direct toward my personal werk, and she wasn't buying it. she was like, show me what you've done... i told her that a lot of my werk so far was not tanglible. it really hurt me to hear her express her lack of faith in me. what hurt me the most was how i'd thought that my parents would be happy about me wanting to move back in with them... but instead, i got the opposite reaction. they bitched and raised their voices at me while i tried to remain calm. it made me feel much better once i explained what i'm trying to do to her in depth this morning and she was extremely supportive, but my parents still have serious issues to be addressed. i think they resent me for having matured past them in many ways; they're so stuck in their shit. i'm going to have to learn how to respond to them without aggression, which will be very hard considering they're very provokative, miserable people.
ooooh, i just spoke to my landlord on the fone... my diaphragm is quivering. well, it was. i've readjusted myself.
he finally spued the reason he's kicking us out: he got "written complaints from [our] neighbors". i can think of one neighbor (err, family of neighbors) who may have complained when i got into a fight with them because they were being dumbasses. i don't know if he actually got any more, but it's not really an issue of my concern; we are loud, after all.
i really hope he has someone come fix my a/c.. i told him that it was unethical for him not to (it was about 93 degrees in here on tuesday. even my roommate, who's a heat freak, thought it was unbearable.)
in 20 days or less, i won't have to worry about a shitty, unreachable landlord, lack of cool air, where i'm going to do my laundry, washing sinkfuls of dishes, or cleaning my fucking living room. i will, however, have to take on a whole different type of stress... i'm looking forward to it; it'll be a highly valuable learning experience.
with my parents support for what seems like the first time. i told my mom about my research this morning, and she just starting to realize how brainwashed she actually was. she also disclosed to me some of what they'd told her. this provided me with the certainty i'd been struggling to attain last night (i was kinda swishing back and forth with insecurity, but this solidified me.) i asked her to try to reflect back on the experience to remember as much as she could. she agreed.
so, i've decided that i'm moving back in with my parents until september. i'm going to immerse myself in my projects; my art (i've decided that i want to have a booth in every local art fair possible, so if you guys know of any that are coming up, please let me know,) my music, and my research, reflection, and writing in preparation to make my documentary.
yesterday, my mom was bitching at me about how i need to have a job, yada yada. i tried to explain how i need all my energy to direct toward my personal werk, and she wasn't buying it. she was like, show me what you've done... i told her that a lot of my werk so far was not tanglible. it really hurt me to hear her express her lack of faith in me. what hurt me the most was how i'd thought that my parents would be happy about me wanting to move back in with them... but instead, i got the opposite reaction. they bitched and raised their voices at me while i tried to remain calm. it made me feel much better once i explained what i'm trying to do to her in depth this morning and she was extremely supportive, but my parents still have serious issues to be addressed. i think they resent me for having matured past them in many ways; they're so stuck in their shit. i'm going to have to learn how to respond to them without aggression, which will be very hard considering they're very provokative, miserable people.
ooooh, i just spoke to my landlord on the fone... my diaphragm is quivering. well, it was. i've readjusted myself.
he finally spued the reason he's kicking us out: he got "written complaints from [our] neighbors". i can think of one neighbor (err, family of neighbors) who may have complained when i got into a fight with them because they were being dumbasses. i don't know if he actually got any more, but it's not really an issue of my concern; we are loud, after all.
i really hope he has someone come fix my a/c.. i told him that it was unethical for him not to (it was about 93 degrees in here on tuesday. even my roommate, who's a heat freak, thought it was unbearable.)
in 20 days or less, i won't have to worry about a shitty, unreachable landlord, lack of cool air, where i'm going to do my laundry, washing sinkfuls of dishes, or cleaning my fucking living room. i will, however, have to take on a whole different type of stress... i'm looking forward to it; it'll be a highly valuable learning experience.
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
the sobriety tip is a deep one after you have held yourself under the influence for 10 to 15 years, it's like learning how to breathe again.
remember all those things that sounded like great ideas that you never got around to? well, even if you don't you very likely will soon...and then you'll have to learn how to juggle a million ideas at once, but you should be good at that being a juggler already.
music has always been my salvation, as i have been working as a professional sound engineer for the last few years...but now learning how to beat juggle is filling my time where i used to stay buzzed. I am working on my design degree as well that i scrapped back in 93 so i could tour with the Dead for the rest of my life. so it sounds like we have many things in common, other than the fact you have come to similar conclusions much earlier in life...lucky you.
so i open this discourse you started by offering my friendship, and hey...we're almost neighbors...midwest reprezent!