Wow. Today completely pales in comparison to the excitement of yesterday, so I shall relate my tale of glory and honor to you, fair memberfolks...
T'was a bright and sunny day, the harsh northern winds had ebbed and the gloaming of winter was upon us. After vanquishing a foul logic test and quelling an insolent film paper, I proceeded to go to the club of fighting. Hmm...enough middle English, here's where the story actually gets exciting!
So after I choked out this really muscle bound fellow (he got REAL PISSED and yelled and stuff), I went up against this new kid. So we're punching each other, and he lands a glancing blow on my face. No big deal, its against the rules, but I was just gonna remind him, seeing as its his first day and all. Well, I notice he's looking at me awfully funny, and he stopped fighting...suddenly I feel a strange wetness. I look down, and lo and behold my entire torso is covered in a sanguine flow! Yes kids, that's right...my nose had turned into a blood fountain and I didn't even notice. Well, I'm standing there literally gushing blood all over the mats and the floor and myself, so I ask Jeff, the fellow who runs the club, what I ought to do. He points out the nearest restroom, and I make my way over there. I get in there and a fellow is fixing his hair or something, so I kindly ask him to step aside. He looks rather mortified, and proceed to lower my hand from my nose, causing blood to splash all over the sink, walls, floor, and myself. It looked like the "after" shot in a Halloween movie. So I bleed and bleed and bleed and blood goes everywhere and it goest down my throat and is splattered all over my arms and face and blah blah blah. Anyhow, I finally clot up, and then I have to clean all the blood up. Ugh. So I follow my trail all the way from the bathroom to the gym, and wipe it all up. Then I choke out the little douche who punched me in the official shortest fight ever. Pussy.
So after that my friend Al and I go to Tom's Diner and eat and have a war-congress for the Legion of the Bloodhammer and its fun. Around 3 AM or so we leave...and we're driving along and WHAT DO WE SEE? A member of the DRIFTERS! Our sworn enemy rockabilly gang of lameness +14! So what do we do? Down go the windows...and we SLAYER THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF THE SUCKER! That's right...teach him to meddle in the affairs of HEAVY METAL!
So, you can see why today was rather droll in comparison...
T'was a bright and sunny day, the harsh northern winds had ebbed and the gloaming of winter was upon us. After vanquishing a foul logic test and quelling an insolent film paper, I proceeded to go to the club of fighting. Hmm...enough middle English, here's where the story actually gets exciting!
So after I choked out this really muscle bound fellow (he got REAL PISSED and yelled and stuff), I went up against this new kid. So we're punching each other, and he lands a glancing blow on my face. No big deal, its against the rules, but I was just gonna remind him, seeing as its his first day and all. Well, I notice he's looking at me awfully funny, and he stopped fighting...suddenly I feel a strange wetness. I look down, and lo and behold my entire torso is covered in a sanguine flow! Yes kids, that's right...my nose had turned into a blood fountain and I didn't even notice. Well, I'm standing there literally gushing blood all over the mats and the floor and myself, so I ask Jeff, the fellow who runs the club, what I ought to do. He points out the nearest restroom, and I make my way over there. I get in there and a fellow is fixing his hair or something, so I kindly ask him to step aside. He looks rather mortified, and proceed to lower my hand from my nose, causing blood to splash all over the sink, walls, floor, and myself. It looked like the "after" shot in a Halloween movie. So I bleed and bleed and bleed and blood goes everywhere and it goest down my throat and is splattered all over my arms and face and blah blah blah. Anyhow, I finally clot up, and then I have to clean all the blood up. Ugh. So I follow my trail all the way from the bathroom to the gym, and wipe it all up. Then I choke out the little douche who punched me in the official shortest fight ever. Pussy.
So after that my friend Al and I go to Tom's Diner and eat and have a war-congress for the Legion of the Bloodhammer and its fun. Around 3 AM or so we leave...and we're driving along and WHAT DO WE SEE? A member of the DRIFTERS! Our sworn enemy rockabilly gang of lameness +14! So what do we do? Down go the windows...and we SLAYER THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF THE SUCKER! That's right...teach him to meddle in the affairs of HEAVY METAL!
So, you can see why today was rather droll in comparison...
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
-FuzzyBiscuit the Oftmisquoted.
Of course, we all knew that. *grin*