It's been too long, my sweets. It really has. I've checked in on the site here and there but haven't had the wherewithal and moderate focus required to write the update that you all deserve. I don't like to half ass anything for the most part.
First off, since my last post I got a 'normal' job. I was apprehensive at first. The last few years of suffering with the constant up and downs of bipolar disorder, not to mention getting let go from my last 'job' because of said bipolar, had really taken a toll on my occupational self confidence. However, I think I found a really good fit hostessing at a restaurant not far from where I live. It's locally owned, so there's minimal corporate interference such as a strict dress code or what have you. The management is also pretty awesome and know about my issues and don't think any less of me or 'have it out for me' such as my last manager did when I disclosed my illness to her. My fellow co workers are also pretty excellent. My sense of humor seems to mesh well with the place, which is a relief.
I'm still dancing, but I'm trying to get away from that. It's not that I don't enjoy it. It's that the money is incredibly unpredictable and I don't really like dealing with the constant rejection that comes with the territory. I never really wondered why, but now I really realize why some girls have to be intoxicated to do that sort of job. Because of how we women are raised there's nothing more unwavering to a girls self esteem than being told 'you're not pretty enough' and it's even worse when you're livelihood depends on your perceived beauty.
I overcame a mountain of stress that was of Everest proportions. It was stress that took years to fester so I am glad to have the burden of it lifted. However, I became so used to the stress that I hadn't remembered my life prior to it. The weeks following the resolution were so full of utter joy that I thought it was mania. But it wasn't mania. It was just that I had forgotten what it was like to not feel immense stress and pressure.
The burlesque show here in Charlotte is on Halloween, which is amazingly exciting!! I promoted the show myself, which was mildly disappointing. I wish I had been able to connect with some local SG members and hopefuls, but c'est la vie. I hope to meet some members and hopefuls there, however. It would be nice. I miss the days when SG was a more close knit community and we had regional SG group gatherings quite often.
Anyway, my darlings, it's time for me to hit the hay. I'm a tired old lady and need my sleep.
