iamthelaw

Just returned from an amazing birthday weekend in my hometown of Atlanta.

I did this: (1) Drink (2) give multiple high-fives to old friends (including Brent Hinds from Mastodon!!!) (3) eat

I did NOT do this: Sleep.

Now, I am 35 years old. Emphasis on the "old"

I went fishing with some friends last weekend.

Came home with a 36-inch striped bass (twss), and this joke:

Q: What's green and has wheels?
A: Grass... I was kidding about the wheels.

Just got word: I pick a jury Monday for trial.

Time to decide if I want to be one of those quirky lawyers who dress like a cowboy.

As someone who grew up in Atlanta, I'm thinking I should pay homage to my southern roots in seersucker.

File this one under stoked/terrified.

I'm a bad tagger.

I'm banned for tagging for three months. BANNED! Like 2LiveCrew. BANNED! Like The Dead Kennedys. BANNED! Like George Carlin (RIP).

But apparently not as cool.

The rule is: Tagging should not be obvious or too common to be distinguishing (e.g. feet ... most people have those, or "beautiful" ... most ladies here are). Fair enough. Then the rules get kind of...
Read More

Dear Suicide Girl World:

I've been gone for a while, but I have missed you, your wry humor, your hot nakedness, your electronic flirtations.


And I asked myself, last night, as I pried open the musty mattress in the couch of the lobby of my office (yes, OFFICE) to sleep in my suit slacks, Oxford shirt and -- I shit you not -- LOAFERS, for...
Read More

Tonight's gonna be a good night::

Band practice followed by punk rock/heavy metal karaoke with a live band.

DON'T MAKE ME SING! YOU'RE NOT GONNA MAKE ME SING, ARE YA?

and please:

DON'T MAKE ME DANCE!

The Turkish and Russian Bathhouse on 10th Street, where I met a friend last night, is a lot less gay than it sounds...

Well, we did strip down to our underwear, hang out in dark rooms, get really, really sweaty, and let some Turkish guy give us a "Palatsa" (spelled phonetically), which is basically a massage that involves beating you about your torso with sticks....
Read More

Jonathan Lethem's "Chronic City" is a thing of beauty.

A sudden and unexpected move to a new place has left me longing for my beloved Brooklyn. (To be clear, Brooklyn the borough, though the the lovely Brooklyn is beloved by us all no less).

I am back in Manhattan, the 6 train to Harlem links me from my office perched above the Museum of Sex to my new digs in a high rise in...
Read More

I am a lapsed vegan. Loooooooooooooong lapsed. But sometimes I miss aspects of the vegan life.

For example, one of my favorite memories of the time when I gave up eating meat and dairy wasn't so much the excellent, clean, and light feeling that I felt, but, rather, the meat-eating guilt dreams.

Give up any vice, and a sure as you can say "paging Dr....
Read More

When I was little, my parents weren't much for cooking, so we ate out ... A LOT. Mostly places my mom called "sit down" restaurants, which meant table service, as opposed to "burger joint" which referred to everything from McDonald's to Taco Bell, which didn't actually have burgers.

My mom, who had chronic verbal diarrhea, and a deep, Southern drawl, insisted on ordering. She had...
Read More

"walking along down the avenue of the americas. two eyes and a head following two arms and legs that are diggin' a snow angel in the air."

-Moss Icon

They don't make 'em like the used to ...