The Molly entry...
I have held Molly as a precious secret for very long now. Not so much hid her existence, but her role.
I first spoke to Molly....almost 18 months ago now, post-BNAT. First discussion was about the value of a varied taste in music, and we had a long rant on spoken word in music. Ended as she was to head to the bank from work, after we'd discussed the use of spoken word in King's X (specifically, the long talk Doug gave about his grandmother during an acoustic show I'd been to). Lots of people claim to have "diverse" taste, but hers truly ran the gamut and she knew what she liked.
The next several days (weeks?) brought more conversation, helped surely by our schedules matching up in the mornings, and unlike many social situations there were never any dragging points:her idiosyncrasies were well accustomed to my own, and she wrote as she spoke. When a person follows "rules" or "habits" of writing, infusing character, it becomes much easier to "read" them and lessens miscommunications. I would eventually make concessions to my preferred habits to ensure speaking to her daily.
Writing about Molly is difficult, because there's too much to say and no way to impress my own thought process upon the reader.
I once considered a few people to be the "best of friends":The Drama Queen, Darren, Tim, Coleman, Jay, Gary, etc. I counted these as people who'd been around for some time, who I enjoyed speaking with or could communicate with. No longer. A few months back, she pointed out a noise/inflextion I make before blurting out a certain type of statement that is difficult. In a year-or less, who knows-she'd dissected my patterns and could tell what was in my mind. SHE could read ME. Noone's read ME before, Darren could pick up some telltale signals, but that was the extent. A best friend is no longer someone I speak to or have known for a long time, a best friend is now someone who can communicate with me as though we are on a same wavelength. I was going to marry a "best friend" on the grounds of us getting along and her having been around for a lengthy time, not on her "getting" me.
THIS was what she feared, what she felt she couldn't measure up to and what I was convinced I would never find/have:a she geek. A beautiful, bisexually liberated she geek. Who was I kidding, while the marriage to The Drama Queen was "sensible", THESE were the qualities I wished for but (I thought) I would work without.
Molly and Tim rallied for me to leave The Drama Queen. I should have listened to Tim more clearly:"Run. Run as fast as you can, screaming. Preferably with your arms flailing." It simply couldn't be done without her L bomb having dropped. I shortly after left her, but the Molly option had already sailed. She was seeing someone, anyhow...
During the following months, I'd surrendered on life and was going to take whatever happened-and I follied on the Molly option for a second time:I'd been directed to a friend of a friend, and surely a neat girl-ultimately not worth talking about:point is that it would have been unworkable, and I still dreamt of Molly anyway...but it caused Molly to withdraw a second attempt at the option.
A third option has recently appeared, and nothing will stop me from taking it:she has revealed a desire to marry me, and it boggles me that I would have ever settled for anything less, no matter how "content" it may have been. We have plans. Ohyes. Business, home, widescreen HDTV with a DVD rack big enough to bury a man, no baby Kevins, pretty young girls with full-n-perky breasts, Pink Floyd and King's X playing all the time...
Molly meets every possible desireable criteria (except for being stinky filthy rich, but we'll get there), we have a communication that is beyond words, our personalities are "on the same page", she is ohsogorgeous, a comparable sex drive, she actually takes care of herself and puts some concerned effort into it, most importantly:a HUGE peeve of mine is a person holding an opinion/belief that they can't explain. If you can tell my WHY you feel a certain way, I can respect that, but not to know/understand/care about why and how you reach certain opinions? To simply be told "this is the opinion" and accept it? If you can't back something up, don't even try argueing.
It's an unfortunately unscheduled game, as we are both needing to get some things back on track in our individual lives, but it's worth all the wait. I don't see it going anywhere. I'm going to enjoy our visual contrast as well-she's the well dressed and respectable girly girl, I'm the blue collar semi-Bohemian 90's grunge era leftover.
Dan, Ash, no fears, I'm not expecting this anytime soon-consider Austin to still be on unless/until I say otherwise.
Oh, SG, the many wonders you have brought me. I look foreward to the daily update checks together in person...rawr!
HA! And I won't have to think about the neighbor to get off, either!
I have held Molly as a precious secret for very long now. Not so much hid her existence, but her role.
I first spoke to Molly....almost 18 months ago now, post-BNAT. First discussion was about the value of a varied taste in music, and we had a long rant on spoken word in music. Ended as she was to head to the bank from work, after we'd discussed the use of spoken word in King's X (specifically, the long talk Doug gave about his grandmother during an acoustic show I'd been to). Lots of people claim to have "diverse" taste, but hers truly ran the gamut and she knew what she liked.
The next several days (weeks?) brought more conversation, helped surely by our schedules matching up in the mornings, and unlike many social situations there were never any dragging points:her idiosyncrasies were well accustomed to my own, and she wrote as she spoke. When a person follows "rules" or "habits" of writing, infusing character, it becomes much easier to "read" them and lessens miscommunications. I would eventually make concessions to my preferred habits to ensure speaking to her daily.
Writing about Molly is difficult, because there's too much to say and no way to impress my own thought process upon the reader.
I once considered a few people to be the "best of friends":The Drama Queen, Darren, Tim, Coleman, Jay, Gary, etc. I counted these as people who'd been around for some time, who I enjoyed speaking with or could communicate with. No longer. A few months back, she pointed out a noise/inflextion I make before blurting out a certain type of statement that is difficult. In a year-or less, who knows-she'd dissected my patterns and could tell what was in my mind. SHE could read ME. Noone's read ME before, Darren could pick up some telltale signals, but that was the extent. A best friend is no longer someone I speak to or have known for a long time, a best friend is now someone who can communicate with me as though we are on a same wavelength. I was going to marry a "best friend" on the grounds of us getting along and her having been around for a lengthy time, not on her "getting" me.
THIS was what she feared, what she felt she couldn't measure up to and what I was convinced I would never find/have:a she geek. A beautiful, bisexually liberated she geek. Who was I kidding, while the marriage to The Drama Queen was "sensible", THESE were the qualities I wished for but (I thought) I would work without.
Molly and Tim rallied for me to leave The Drama Queen. I should have listened to Tim more clearly:"Run. Run as fast as you can, screaming. Preferably with your arms flailing." It simply couldn't be done without her L bomb having dropped. I shortly after left her, but the Molly option had already sailed. She was seeing someone, anyhow...
During the following months, I'd surrendered on life and was going to take whatever happened-and I follied on the Molly option for a second time:I'd been directed to a friend of a friend, and surely a neat girl-ultimately not worth talking about:point is that it would have been unworkable, and I still dreamt of Molly anyway...but it caused Molly to withdraw a second attempt at the option.
A third option has recently appeared, and nothing will stop me from taking it:she has revealed a desire to marry me, and it boggles me that I would have ever settled for anything less, no matter how "content" it may have been. We have plans. Ohyes. Business, home, widescreen HDTV with a DVD rack big enough to bury a man, no baby Kevins, pretty young girls with full-n-perky breasts, Pink Floyd and King's X playing all the time...
Molly meets every possible desireable criteria (except for being stinky filthy rich, but we'll get there), we have a communication that is beyond words, our personalities are "on the same page", she is ohsogorgeous, a comparable sex drive, she actually takes care of herself and puts some concerned effort into it, most importantly:a HUGE peeve of mine is a person holding an opinion/belief that they can't explain. If you can tell my WHY you feel a certain way, I can respect that, but not to know/understand/care about why and how you reach certain opinions? To simply be told "this is the opinion" and accept it? If you can't back something up, don't even try argueing.
It's an unfortunately unscheduled game, as we are both needing to get some things back on track in our individual lives, but it's worth all the wait. I don't see it going anywhere. I'm going to enjoy our visual contrast as well-she's the well dressed and respectable girly girl, I'm the blue collar semi-Bohemian 90's grunge era leftover.
Dan, Ash, no fears, I'm not expecting this anytime soon-consider Austin to still be on unless/until I say otherwise.
Oh, SG, the many wonders you have brought me. I look foreward to the daily update checks together in person...rawr!
HA! And I won't have to think about the neighbor to get off, either!
For your supposed lack of memory, you remember every detail, my love.
Thank you so much. <3
PS.. Rawr INDEED.