So my mother's gotten old this year. She told my father that. I interpreted his meaning as it being my fault. Back then I still cared but it couldn't really hit me. Other people couldn't make me feel worse than I already did. Now as I'm starting to feel better though, all of my behaviour comes crashing down.
I used to be quite the filanthropist. I'm not anymore. I used to wish to improve the world by applying my intellect and talents to medical science. I don't care anymore. I got 155 on the test of mental faculties I had during my psychiatric evaluation and it's a sure thing I'm going to try to use it. But it's not for anyone else's sake this time. If I could make up for the pain I've caused to people I care about I still would. But when it comes to other people? I sure as fuck have lost something. Not standards or morals, but empathy. At my worst I positively hated people. And I know exactly how it happened. I just won't go into it.
I used to be quite the filanthropist. I'm not anymore. I used to wish to improve the world by applying my intellect and talents to medical science. I don't care anymore. I got 155 on the test of mental faculties I had during my psychiatric evaluation and it's a sure thing I'm going to try to use it. But it's not for anyone else's sake this time. If I could make up for the pain I've caused to people I care about I still would. But when it comes to other people? I sure as fuck have lost something. Not standards or morals, but empathy. At my worst I positively hated people. And I know exactly how it happened. I just won't go into it.
huronian:
Maybe finding it in yourself to care enough but not go down like this is the path to walk. At least, I don't think before or after I had my breakdown is the path to walk.