Ack.
My world is filled with worry and love, pain and joy, death and rebirth, hesitation and abandon.
For those of you who don't know, I'm married. We separated last July. After much much much insanity (and much failed dating of others) we have decided to return to our former state of marriage.
He was an asshole for a long time. He was cruel and evil. Not in the beginning, but then some things happened and he had a bit of a nervous breakdown. And I suffered for it. A couple of months ago, he began to tell me he wants me back. I agreed to have dinner with him and he had me at hello... black hair and eyes, pale skin. Damn his ass.
The problem here is that we have a chance to work things out, but all my friends and family are extremely against it. I want to move on and move forward, but everyone is making me feel guilty about it. Like I'm hurting them by being with him again. I know there's a chance he'll hurt me again. There's always a chance. Lots of men have hurt me, and I've been through so much anymore I'm kinda numb and I can handle anything. But what to do about the rest of the people I love....? If I follow my heart, will I lose everyone else? I feel like the rope in a tug-o-war
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I miss you.