"Some day you'll miss me when I'm gone, just remember that," she used to say.
How do you express gratitude to the people who lend their hand in raising you? There is no denying the relationship with my grandmother was less than functional. To my dismay, I never opened up to her in the way that I could with other people. I had my reservations telling her everything, because as we both grew older, I started to let my guard down and she put hers up.
The world, to her, was becoming cumbersome. She misjudged the distance of a parked car one afternoon, in my absence, and lost her will to drive. Other visits revealed that a passion for cooking had boiled down into frustration to the point that she was barely eating on her own.
The kitchen she is standing in, in this photo is where she cooked meals for generations of Hildreth men, from the second to the fourth, for over 40 years. It is also, where a mind lost itself, and all personal possessions became discarded as life continued past her fleeting recognition.
I brought her flowers on Mother's Day, last year, in her new retirement home. I realized then I was nothing but a fond memory, of someone or something she still held onto...but it was not of her grandson.
My grandfather passed in 1989 and my grandmother pushed forward, by herself, into the early 2000's before she couldn't handle it on her own. People came and went from her life during this time, but she never wanted romance with another man. She had this other role to provide food, laundry, and cleaning to anyone who visited her, especially me.
I stayed off and on with her over the course of my youth, even into my high school years. I remember the smell of garlic salt rubbed on t-bone steaks grilling in the summer, fresh fries in the fryer, and homemade pies made with cherries from her tree.
I remember a family once so full of life, enjoying Colorado and, once in a while, California summers in Disneyland in the '80's.
I will always remember a woman who would've gave me everything if I asked her for it. A woman who never wanted anything in return, except a phone call and a visit.
In memory of Joyce Briggs Hildreth (06/08/2012)
How do you express gratitude to the people who lend their hand in raising you? There is no denying the relationship with my grandmother was less than functional. To my dismay, I never opened up to her in the way that I could with other people. I had my reservations telling her everything, because as we both grew older, I started to let my guard down and she put hers up.
The world, to her, was becoming cumbersome. She misjudged the distance of a parked car one afternoon, in my absence, and lost her will to drive. Other visits revealed that a passion for cooking had boiled down into frustration to the point that she was barely eating on her own.
The kitchen she is standing in, in this photo is where she cooked meals for generations of Hildreth men, from the second to the fourth, for over 40 years. It is also, where a mind lost itself, and all personal possessions became discarded as life continued past her fleeting recognition.
I brought her flowers on Mother's Day, last year, in her new retirement home. I realized then I was nothing but a fond memory, of someone or something she still held onto...but it was not of her grandson.
My grandfather passed in 1989 and my grandmother pushed forward, by herself, into the early 2000's before she couldn't handle it on her own. People came and went from her life during this time, but she never wanted romance with another man. She had this other role to provide food, laundry, and cleaning to anyone who visited her, especially me.
I stayed off and on with her over the course of my youth, even into my high school years. I remember the smell of garlic salt rubbed on t-bone steaks grilling in the summer, fresh fries in the fryer, and homemade pies made with cherries from her tree.
I remember a family once so full of life, enjoying Colorado and, once in a while, California summers in Disneyland in the '80's.
I will always remember a woman who would've gave me everything if I asked her for it. A woman who never wanted anything in return, except a phone call and a visit.
In memory of Joyce Briggs Hildreth (06/08/2012)
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
I am terribly sorry for your loss, there is just an emptiness there that seems to never be filled after loosing someone so amazing and selfless. They remain with us always, in our memories, I even believe that they still watch over us and are so proud. I know this is a new wound and you might be unsure how to tend to it, but just have faith and never forget her.
-----------------------
I think my 1st bag was similar to yours, I find myself gravitating back to it every time..
---------------
much loves
apryl ann
I still talk to her, when I'm lonely. It comforts me knowing she can hear me somehow.
She's not completely gone- she's just waiting for you to come home now...