hellblazer

A community.

Like most everyone else, I joined for the pictures. And what do I find...?

A whole, entire, goddamn, motherfucking community.

I'm not good at community.

But - I ask myself - isn't that part of the point...? Isn't this a site for those who feel a little "different?" For the unconventional? For the outsiders? For the misfits?

While I admit there is something truly democratic, inclusive - even universal - about pornography, the erotic sensibilities that govern this site ARE refreshingly DIFFERENT...

Pierced and tattooed punk rock pin-up girls, for those of us who like REAL women. Who eschew the airbrushed, Barbie doll, Playboy stereotype in favor of REAL girls with REAL personality...

Suicide Girls would be quite something for that alone.

But then there's the community...

I filled out the profile. Hell, I filled out the DATING profile, and I'm definitely not a fan of online dating.

Why did I do that...?

Who am I to call anyone here a friend? Or, conversely, call myself a friend to anyone here?

I HAVE friends. Friends I talk to in person. And while I'm single now, I've never had a problem meeting people.

So why go to the trouble? Why not just pay the five bucks a month and look at the pretty pictures?

Maybe because I've rarely - if ever - met someone like me. Someone who's interests were similar to mine. Someone else who may feel - as I often do - like an alien on their own planet...

While surfing around the site, I came across a journal entry of Elara's expressing her utter disgust at discovering that this site now has a dating option.

She recanted in the next entry with a half-assed apology and the excuse that most people who visit this site are "sketchy."

"Come on," she writes, "you know you are."

Yeah.

I am.

And I would hope that everyone here (official Suicide Girls included) wouldn't hesitate to describe themselves as such.

Because if I weren't the sort of "sketchy" misfit who finds himself attracted to a site like this one, where would I be?

Sucking on kegs of Budweiser in some frat house, listening to Garth Brooks, and procrastinating studying for my next Business exam because I'm busy trying to date rape a rich sorority girl by feeding her rufie-laced lemon drops...?

OK, at my age, probably not. But my point remains the same: That would be the archetypical model of the non-sketchy All-American boy, wouldn't it?

So say it loud: I'm sketchy and I'm proud!

But that brings us back to community.

A community of the "sketchy." Is such a thing possible?

I mean, I read comments on people's pages and testimonials and it sounds like you all already know each other! On one hand, it's pretty fucking cool. And on the other, I have to admit, I find it a little disconcerting.

A community of misfits? A convention of the unconventional? Anarchists unite? Sounds a bit oxymoronic...

Still...

There ARE historical precedents...

Did you know that the Seminoles were not their own pre-existing tribe?

The Seminoles were made up of individual Native Americans from other tribes who refused to leave their land and go west. They banded together to fight the colonists. They were a group of misfits who couldn't follow their own tribes. Who didn't feel comfortable in their own communities.

I believe that "seminole" roughly translated means "renegade."

They must have had their differences, though. A group of individual personalities, as strong as theirs must have been to do what they did, gathered together?

It's amazing they didn't fall apart from infighting. (Or maybe they did. I must remember to look that up...)

My point is, for better or worse, I'm here. And against my better judgement, I'm already more involved than I thought I'd be.

We'll see what happens...