hastwothumbs

On Monday, when the sun is hot
I wonder to myself a lot:
"Now is it true, or is it not,"
"That what is which and which is what?"

On Tuesday, when it hails and snows,
The feeling on me grows and grows
That hardly anybody knows
If those are these or these are those.

On Wednesday, when the sky is blue,
And I have...
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'Twas the summer of my youth, a magic butterfly time of flowers and butterflies. The sky burned like some enflamed reaction, as if Heaven were allergic to itself. In that summer I was Joan of Arc on the eve of battle: imbued with the Holy Word and a blood fervor not seen on this world for two centuries. The world was my oyster, yes, but...
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Thanks for birthday wishes, all. Birthday fun was had. Whether or not it had anything to do with random strangers on the internet is up for debate. But, hey, let's go with that.

Went to a party Sunday that was a combination of several parties. It was my birthday, Deidrich's farewell, Deidrich's birthday, and the celebration of new Family Guy all in one.

So, yeah,...
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PUNY HUMANS.
Regard me with terror for I have come upon you, bearing the strange and terrible fruits of my mind. (Which I'm going to share before the court-ordered Prozac kicks in and I decide better of it.)

Back story: Every two or three weeks I make a two hour journey to the fabled San Fernando Valley in order to buy comic books and visit...
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Greg Felp's nose began to bleed. He was used to the nosebleeds by now, having long ago accepted them as just part and parcel of his theoretical brain aneurysm. Wiping his face clean with his sleeve, Greg ducked into the nearest bar without breaking stride. No one took notice of him as he headed for the restroom. He washed his face thoroughly, sat down on...
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Now that the post-Valentine's Day season is among us and the major retail stores aren't still telling you what is or is not romantic, most or all of you are at a loss as to what you should do for your loved one. So I'm here to help you. Or destroy you, I haven't really decided yet.

First up, some tips for the dudes. The...
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While at work yesterday, I went up to one of the cashiers and said, "Well, I'm going to lunch." She didn't seem to care, so I snuck up behind her, grabbed her skull, and said, "I'm going to eat your brains for lunch! Graaah!"

I thought it was hilarious. She didn't seem to agree.

I found this girl's profile on MySpace and her only blog was a questionnaire for prospective boyfriends. So, being the terrible bastard I am, I filled it out. (And the last two questions were multiple choice but I decided to make them fill in the blank, as well.)

-name: Michaelsaurus Pontificus Arrakis

-age: The Highlander

-height: I am possibly a million feet tall

-weight: I...
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