so tonight i was playing some halo 3 beta when the phone rang and it was my best friend he is a irish cat that drives me wild i love that fucker. any way so he is drunk at the bar and asked for a ride over. so of course my girlfriend ran over to retrieve his punk ass. he comes barrelling in all smiles and those irish eyes beaming. i was not paying to much attention to him for i was playing my game. well he decided i needed to pay attention to him. here i am gaming and all the sudden i smell mayonaise....and felt a humping motiion on my arm, i look over and that fucker was humping my best foods and rubbing it on my arm!!!!!!!!! i was laughing so hard i was crying and could not breathe. he then pulled out of the mayo and followed it by wiping his cock all over my hoodie i was wearing then he ran in the kitchen and threw it away. just when i thought it was safe he dropped trou and put his balls and dick in my sink and used my dawn antibacterial dish soap and my brillo pad to clean his cock and balls. then he ran down the hall and tried to find something of mine to dry them with.he decided though it was best to come back to me and use my dry arm that was not ridden with mayo to dry is newly clean and bacteria safe package on! and so the moral of the story is hide the mayo cuz jamie is coming over.....ps he just stepped on my cat! but she is ok so dont worry
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