1. Yesterday was Dexters 4th Birthday. Feel free to send him birthday wishes, or you can even sing him Happy Birthday, if youd like
2. I dont know whats going on with my brain. Ive been having nightmares every night. Its been years since Ive had what I would consider actual nightmares. I think theres a very fine line between bad dreams and nightmares, and these are definitely crossing the line. Over the past few days Toast has left me, My familys tried to kill me, Jen lost her baby, Ive been held for ransom, and Toast has been murdered, and this has all happened in my sleep. Im upset. Im not just upset over this drastic change in the content of my dreams but the way that I dream has completely changed as well. Im not happy about it.
I usually have 2 types of dreams. Either they are so common place that I have a hard time figuring out whether it was a dream or if it really happened, or they are insanely bizarre. The crazy ones are the most common. I usually wake up thinking, ok, what the fuck is wrong with my head? They arent really describable to anyone else because they are just that weird. They jump all over the place, with people and places morphing into others constantly but without my noticing (until I wake up, of course). These dreams arent like that at all. While unlikely, they are basically plausible. They last all night, I wake up to pee, go back to bed and keep dreaming, although the part right before I wake up sometimes gets a little more unrealistic (this morning I recruited Dexter, not my Dexter but his namesake, Dexter Morgan the serial killer, to help me kill the woman that murdered Toast). Unlike my usual dreams, these dreams follow through. There is no jumping around, or magical morphing. They play out like a movie, from beginning to end. Ive never dreamed this way in my life. I do not like it. Every day not only do I wake up feeling uneasy because of the content, but the sudden change in the way Im dreaming is also making me nervous.
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