More jokes ...............................
A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, he stands up and starts to undress. After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, "See that, baby? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She begins to drool. The man drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder''s pose, and says, referring to his bulging thighs, "See those, baby? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She is aching for action at this point. Finally, he drops his underpants, and after a quick glance, she grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door. He catches her before she is able to leave and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to go?" She replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!"
Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits. After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits, and paint in the nude. In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door.
"Who is it?" calls one of the nuns.
"Blind man," replies a voice from the other side of the door. The two nuns look at each other and shrug, and, deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room, they open the door.
"Nice gazongas," says the man, "where do you want these blinds?"
A young deaf-mute couple gets married. At first, they have sex with the lights on, in order to sign to each other.
One day, the woman asks, "Can we try to make love with the lights off?"
The man says, "OK, but how will you know when I want to make love?"
The woman says, "Well, when you're in the mood, just shake my left breast once, and I'll know. If you don't want to, shake my right breast once."
The man says, "All right. And if you want to make love to me, shake my penis once, if you do not want to make love to me, shake my penis about 50 times."
A guy walks into the bathroom and sees a very small man taking a leak. The little man looks at him and says "Hi! I'm a leprechaun! And because I like you, I'm going to grant you three wishes."
The man thinks for a moment and then says "I'd like a beautiful house."
"Granted. When you return home, you will have a gorgeous mansion."
"Great! Now I'd like a beautiful woman."
"Granted. When you return home, you will find a woman so amazing you will never look at another woman again."
"And I would love to have a huge penis."
"For that, you'll have to let me screw you in the ass."
The man hesitates, but since he wants a huge penis, he consents. As they're going at it, the man says "I can't believe I'm letting a leprechaun screw me in the ass!"
The little man says "I can't believe you thought I was a leprechaun."
A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, he stands up and starts to undress. After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, "See that, baby? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She begins to drool. The man drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder''s pose, and says, referring to his bulging thighs, "See those, baby? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She is aching for action at this point. Finally, he drops his underpants, and after a quick glance, she grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door. He catches her before she is able to leave and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to go?" She replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!"
Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits. After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits, and paint in the nude. In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door.
"Who is it?" calls one of the nuns.
"Blind man," replies a voice from the other side of the door. The two nuns look at each other and shrug, and, deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room, they open the door.
"Nice gazongas," says the man, "where do you want these blinds?"
A young deaf-mute couple gets married. At first, they have sex with the lights on, in order to sign to each other.
One day, the woman asks, "Can we try to make love with the lights off?"
The man says, "OK, but how will you know when I want to make love?"
The woman says, "Well, when you're in the mood, just shake my left breast once, and I'll know. If you don't want to, shake my right breast once."
The man says, "All right. And if you want to make love to me, shake my penis once, if you do not want to make love to me, shake my penis about 50 times."
A guy walks into the bathroom and sees a very small man taking a leak. The little man looks at him and says "Hi! I'm a leprechaun! And because I like you, I'm going to grant you three wishes."
The man thinks for a moment and then says "I'd like a beautiful house."
"Granted. When you return home, you will have a gorgeous mansion."
"Great! Now I'd like a beautiful woman."
"Granted. When you return home, you will find a woman so amazing you will never look at another woman again."
"And I would love to have a huge penis."
"For that, you'll have to let me screw you in the ass."
The man hesitates, but since he wants a huge penis, he consents. As they're going at it, the man says "I can't believe I'm letting a leprechaun screw me in the ass!"
The little man says "I can't believe you thought I was a leprechaun."
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