gunnslinger8

A lil'treat for all Hollows eve.


A man is annoying the hell out of his wife all day!
{Imagine that} Just bytchin and whining about
everything, calling her stupid....so at the end of the
day they're sitting down at dinner and he says,
"Hey, I bet you can't tell me something
that'll make me both happy and sad at the same
time!"
The wife thinks for a minute and smiles BIG and says,
"Honey, your dick is bigger than your
brother's!!"

A woman is standing on line at the Pearly gates to
heaven when she hears an ear splitting scream. She runs
up to St Peter and says "Hey, what was that?"
St. Peter tells her, "Oh someone must be getting
the holes drilled in their back to be fitted for their
wings!"
A minute later, another scream...."Oh come on,
what was THAT?" She asks nervously
St Peter says, "He must be getting the holes
drilled in his head for his halo."
"Dear God, I think I'd rather go to
hell..." She tells him.
"Oh no no no...you don't want to do
that...you'll be raped and sodomized
continuously!"
The woman says "Yeah but I've ALREADY got
the holes for that!"


A man is bored and decides to a high class strip club.
He sits down in front of the stage and a sexy woman
starts grinding to the music, and teasing the crowd by
unzipping her dress
"TAKE IT OFF!" The guy behind him yells. The
man turns around and says, "Do you mind, I paid a
lot to get in here and not to here you yell..."
"I'm sorry, it's just my
enthusiasm." The man behind him says.
The woman peels off her dress and again starts
teasing the crowd, shaking her tits and again the man
behind him starts hollering, "TAKE IT OFF!!"
"Will you please stop that?" The man in
front barks.
"Sorry, just my enthusiasm...." He replies
The stripper slowly rips off her bra and starts
grinding right in front of the 2 men.
"TAKE IT OFF!" The man yells again. This
time all the man in front has to do is glare at him and
the guy apologizes, "Sorry, it's just my
enthusiasm!"
The stripper pulls off her g-string, grinding and
writhing on the stage and there's no sound from the
man in back of him.
The man turns around and says, "Hey, bud,
where's your enthusiasm now?"
The guy just smiles and says "All over the back
of your shirt!!"

4 blondes walk into a bar...one's carrying a
picture frame. They sit at one of the tables and prop
the picture up on a chair. One of the women walk up to
the bar and orders a bottle of the most expensive wine
they carry.
The 4 blondes toast the picture and polish off the
bottle. The bartender, curious walks over to the table
to see if they want another.
He notices the frame holds a finished puzzle of
Cookie monster.
"I have to ask", the bartender says,
"What is with the puzzle?"
One of the blonde replies, "Well, everyone
thinks blondes are stupid, we just wanted to prove
we're not. See that puzzle, well, on the box it
said 7+ yrs, and it only took the 4 of us 3 weeks to
finish!!"


A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots of whiskey.
"Rough day, man?" The bartender asks
"Yeah, I just found out my younger brother is
gay!" The man says.
"That's tough....drink up!" The
bartender replies.
The man finishes the shots and leaves.
The next day the man walks in again and orders 6
shots of whiskey.
"Another bad day?" The bartender asks.
"Yeah, shit, I just found out my older brother
is gay!" The man replies
"Wow, that's tough....drink up!"
The man downs the shots and leaves.
The next day the same man walks into the bar and
orders 6 shots of whiskey.
"Oh come on now...." the bartender says as
he's pouring, "dosen't ANYONE in your
family like women?"
"Yeah," the man replies, "My fukkin
wife!!"


A man shopping at the supermarket notices a hot woman
waving at him down the aisle.
"Do I know you?" the man asks walking over
to her.
"Well, you should," the woman replies,
"you're the father of one of my kids!!!"
The man stares at her and thinks for a minute then
says, "Hey, are you that waitress I took out back
behind Chuck E. Cheese and banged against the dumpster
during my son's birthday party???"
"No," the woman says, "I'm his
math teacher!!"