gundamzig

I survived Basic and am in training in Georgia. Does anyone even know i am still alive, or even care?

To whomever gives a damn. I leave for the Army basic training (BCT) on Wednesday. Hopefully i become worth something other than a personal disappointment.

On the happy news front, saw The Cruxshadows twice in one week and they are an indcredible group to see. The only bright points in the last few weeks.

Anyone care? or wish to try and stay in contact?

this will be my last entry. the woman i have come to realise is the love of my life has written me out of hers. i now have no reason. i will exist as long as i can, but not live. i hope the rest of you are smarter and fare better.
bye

i have become a seething ball of hate. This fucking life is bullshit. Day after fucking, merciless day is failure after worthless, fucking failure. i can't even get my new fucking game to work. i only have alcohol toward which to turn. i can't even go to friends or family. i feel i can't even waste anymore time on worthless endevours, or typing about this...
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Noone i guess.
Kuso
Thought i was pathetic before............

I am back, long story. Who cares,hmmm? i keep trying to tell myself it is all for naught and, well.....probably better off had died. Always curious as to whom would come to the funeral.

I am back, long story. Who cares,hmmm? i keep trying to tell myself it is all for naught and, well.....probably better off had died. Always curious as to whom would come to the funeral.

I am back, long story. Who cares,hmmm? i keep trying to tell myself it is all for naught and, well.....probably better off had died. Always curious as to whom would come to the funeral.

If anyone cares, i am offline for a couple of weeks. Can't use governement PCs to access Suicide Girls after all. May be able to check occasionally over next xouple of weeks.

Nandemo.........

No improvements, not even my camera wants to cooperate tonight.

Still sick and hurting. Pissed cause i haven't exercised or tried to work out for almost a week and makes me feel gross.

Brain and heart still messed up. So many people have found someone. i can't begrudge them that and am glad for them. Just wish it wasn't all in my grill and i...
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Have to move this weekend. Lousy German telecomm industry takes one week to activate a phone line and 2 weeks after to assign a DSL port. So, i will be very intermittant on my contacts during these times. (if anyone cared to contact me outside SG can do so. Not that anyone will ) .

i know it's over before it began, why did i...
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i started to fallfor someone, thenshe vanished.

She appeared again, but seemed to be distant. i know she is very stressed. It just seemed what was there had gone.

One more failure to add to a growing list

i give up, i have to decide, when the time comes, if i should/can renew my subscription here. Onlyone or two people ever reached out with an...
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