All around me everything is cold. The weather in Reykjavik is better than where I live, and people I know and love treat me with, at best, apathy. What is this? Am I wasting my time?
Maybe it's the insomnia talking, or maybe it's the cause of the insomnia. I'm not being very good about making heads or tails of anything right now, because the people I lean on for support seem to be made of quicksand. Can't make up my mind if when I lean I'm only falling flat on my face (which has happened several times during my tenure on this planet), or I'm being swallowed up in some murky ambivalence I need to extricate myself from. And, absolutely no help from the outside, or inside, for that matter.
Everything seems to be cold, and even if I try to heat things up, my efforts are being met with more cold. It's cancelling all of my efforts out, and I'm getting tired...of dealing with this, and of being awake night after night. But, I somehow doubt I'll sleep.
Maybe it's the insomnia talking, or maybe it's the cause of the insomnia. I'm not being very good about making heads or tails of anything right now, because the people I lean on for support seem to be made of quicksand. Can't make up my mind if when I lean I'm only falling flat on my face (which has happened several times during my tenure on this planet), or I'm being swallowed up in some murky ambivalence I need to extricate myself from. And, absolutely no help from the outside, or inside, for that matter.
Everything seems to be cold, and even if I try to heat things up, my efforts are being met with more cold. It's cancelling all of my efforts out, and I'm getting tired...of dealing with this, and of being awake night after night. But, I somehow doubt I'll sleep.
welntaod:
There's nothing quite like cold to sap energy for moving, energy for doing, forward momentum in trudging through to the next thing... Hope you find yourself the winner of a surprise electric blanket & matching slippers. I'd shoot to see Big Fish first, rather that Return of the King. The latter is great, up for a couple of Oscars which makes it likely to be around for at least another month - Maybe not so w/ Big Fish.
welntaod:
Cryptonomicon has a slow start...first 50-100 pages. After that, it's really remarkable. A possible, better-served introduction to Neal Stephenson is Snowcrash (if you haven't read it already). It's easily 600 pages shorter and is a bogglingly fast read - Crypto took me a month to crack the first time. 