Notes on cleaning.. no one else need to read btw I find it nice to have a bit of a thought diary on here every now and then.
I think it was the great Charlie Brown (or was it Chuck Palahniuk?) who was quoted as saying
“ The things you own end up owning you. It's only after you lose everything that you're free to do anything.”
It’s a sentiment I believe to have some truth although being fairly materialistic in nature it is not something I have followed in my life to the letter of the law. That said, maintaining a reasonable level of minimalism has been important for my mental well being and the need to have things in order.
My own addendum to Chuck’s (Brown or Pahlaniuk) philosophy would be that a disordered habitat reflects my mental state and stops my flow. I can also say that such disorder is a mirror image of chaos that has befallen me over the past decade or so.
I moved house last year and in the process realised that I had way more stuff than I imagined; Sure having a kid is always a contributing factor but even so, packing became an hourly “how have I accumulated such a mountain of stuff” conversation with myself.
Undeterred and following the “box it, forget it” method I duly moved with the heavy burden of possessions in tow. Luckily having a bonus room in my new place I was able to stack them away and shut the door.
Like my emotions, shutting the door doesn’t make them disappear. Nor does a stack of physical objects occupy any less space in my mind than a stack of emotions.
In my mental health journey, there’s been a few choices that I can positively identify as having made a positive impact.. (to delete all my social media being one example)
In spite of these actions to clear the mind I’ve still felt rather stagnated and slumbering through the days.. I’ve not had the energy or will to sit and write anymore, nor to devote any time to read much or engage in any hobbies.
Anyway, where I am getting to is having the growing sensation that these boxes of physical objects around me have a similar, negative power over my mental health as the non physical baggage. Is it my belief in some kind of quantum entanglement to the atoms that make them up are interfering with my growth ? maybe so.
I’ve started to crack the nut this weekend.. and oh wow the level of release has been palpable. It feels like I’ve broken out a mountain to climb and looking at the insides of this cardboard landscape I feel buoyed by the chance to clear it away.
How have I ended up like this without being aware of it..? It’s like awakening from a dream but with the renewed energy to do something.
My mind is like a hard drive; fragmented and in the red. Deleting things (physical or not) is the best way of freeing up space for the future, however hard that may be.
Good old Chuck.. I don’t want to be owned by baggage.
Love, peace, and all that comes between.
D