A strange situation, I'm in. I've played and enjoyed video games all my cognizant life. Each time I've quit them and sold off all my systems it has only been temporary, I've given in to the sheer mental boredom and gone back. I am an addict in every way. For some reason, the most recent break I took has hit home the underlying need that powered my addiction. My brain hungers. Like a voracious beast it searches desperately and endlessly for knowledge or distraction. I can gorge myself on all manner of electronic entertainment and the hunger subsides. In fact my higher functions can go into a hibernation of sorts. I think this fully distracted state led to my antisocialism, my depression, my lack of desire to do much of anything, my failed relationships, distancing myself from my friends and family. Pretty much everything negative about my life. During this break I took, my thoughts awoke with a sharpness and intensity I did not expect. My mind became an electrified unquenchable sponge. I couldn't stop wanting to learn new things, and my retention was getting damn near 100%. Do you know how disturbing it is to have your mind race like you just finished chugging an energy drink all the time? To think so fast you start looking at other humans and liken them to primates? I started playing games again, and I swear I can feel my mind slowing, the junkie getting it's opiate. I'm at a crossroads now: Do I continue taking my intellectual medication so I can maintain an easy existence among the mundane, or do I abandon the shackles and push my mind to it's limits regardless of the cost? I could be something great. I could change the world. Or maybe I'll learn too much (ignorance really is bliss) and burn myself out? I don't know.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
romany:
I have zombpocalypse dreams too... I used to be able to blink 3 times in a dream to wake myself up if it got too scary, that only happened a couple times though, and then the next time I did it I thought I woke up but was actually in another dream within the original dream...fml, my brain is crafty lol.
romany:
That's actually pretty interesting, very rarely do I have a dream where I'm watching others, I'm almost always the one being attacked and whatnot. You SHOULD be a director !