Yes. I am bi-polar and have been without medication for about 2 months now. I get especially bad around the full moon and when I am having my period... both which happen to coincide with each other A LOT! When I have my manic upswings I feel like supergirl! I feel indestructable and sexy and happy and wonderful. ( I wish I could bottle that feeling!) then I feel *blah* for a couple of days. Then I downswing into a self destructive (emotionally, mentally and physically), self depreciating spiral. It's kinda like being caught in the toilet bowl after a flush. It is especially hard being in a relationship when I feel this way. I know my boyfriend loves me more then anything, but when I'm depressed even he can't bring me out of it! Also my worst critic...my inner voice...likes to take the time to be especially cruel during this time. I can't help but fall under her spell and listen. I really don't know what to do. Going back on my medicaton just isn't an option. I feel so dead while taking my meds that it simply isn't worth being alive! At least with the cycles of super happy, blah & super depressed I at least "feel" something! I'm just afraid that after a while my insecurities will come to be more than just insecurities. After searching my whole life for a love like this I'm afraid I will blow it and end up with nothing... *sad face*
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Side note:
I've got a bad cold. My throat sounds all froggy and I've got a cough. Please pass the kleenex, cough syrup ( I promise I won't OD) and the chicken soup....
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Side note:
I've got a bad cold. My throat sounds all froggy and I've got a cough. Please pass the kleenex, cough syrup ( I promise I won't OD) and the chicken soup....
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My only advice is try and keep the relationship and the depression seperate. Love won't fix the depression, but that doesn't mean you can't have a great relationship, I think you just have to be able to realise that the depression is a result of being bi-polar and not necessairly the relationship and you should be fine. But I realise that it's probably harder than it sounds. I hope you can make it work though, you deserve to be happy, with a great guy.
If you need anything I'll do whatever I can for you, and if you find this little post annoying you can slap me for it.
Take care
I hope you make it through this, and remember to notice when the is shining, sweetie!